Check my essay for Errors plz!?
Hi, this is an expository essay. Expository essay meaning the writer is supposed to inform the reader about the book using facts. I would appreciate if someone could look over my essay for punctuation, grammar, or spelling. This is also a grade 10 writing it on animal farm. Best answer gets points!
Through his novel, Animal Farm, George Orwell represents either a famous person or a group of people involved in the Russian Revolution that occurred in 1917. Several of the characters in George Orwell’s Animal Farm display character traits which would harm rather than help a democratic society. This led to the downfall of Animalism and an increase in corruption during the revolution.
Mr.Jones was the owner of Manor Farm, and he is portrayed as a cruel person to his animals. He did not feed them and he over worked them. He was corrupt with power because he knew he had the control of all the animals. They were at his mercy. This trait is similar to the reign of Czar Nicholas II during the Russian Revolution. The behavior displayed by Mr. Jones would not be acceptable by the majority of the people, or in this case the animals, which led to the Animalism Revolution.
Napoleon, one of the three pigs on the farm, is an antagonist in Animal Farm. His character is displayed as a brutal and cruel leader. When Boxer was injured Napoleon sends for a van to take Boxer to the veterinary surgeons, explaining they can take better care for him when the van belongs to a knacker. Through Napoleon’s brutality, cruelty and lust to rule he was clever enough to take his time to let his dogs, which he had personally trained when they were pups, grow big enough to establish his reign. His character is symbolized to Joseph Stalin under Communism during the Russian Revolution. Joseph Stalin waited until he could use the K.G.B., a secret police organization. It was formed by Joseph himself, to kill his enemy. Boxer a hardworking horse was rejected by Napoleon and put down to death due to his injury. He was unable to work anymore, and only cared about work being done with no questions asked. He was against democracy and believed in Animal Farm.
Squealer, one of the three pigs on the farm, is very good at telling propaganda about Napoleons rule. His character was displayed as a big mouth that talks a lot. He supported Napoleon’s form of government and convinced animals to believe and follow all changes made by Napoleon. He made changes and manipulated the commandments that were originally developed. Some of the commandments changed by Napoleon are: "No animal shall sleep in a bed with sheets", and "Four legs good, two legs better!" These changes were made to benefit him and the other pigs. Squealer was able to convince the other animals that this was true and correct. Squealer had a sly and devious trait which can be considered a dangerous trait in democracy. Illiterate beings can be gullible and will believe anything.
It is clear that no matter what type of government there is if a person’s character traits are harmful, such as Napoleon or Joseph Stalin, they will corrupt all and include everyone. This will lead to the destruction of democracy and increase of communism. Hard-working people (animals) will be ignored. In order to overcome this we all must learn and understand the lessons in Animal Farm.
- 8 years agoFavorite Answer
You need to indent each paragraph.
"Animal Farm" needs to be in italics every time.
You need a comma after "harm" in the first paragraph.
You forgot the space between "Mr" and "Jones" in the second paragraph.
In the second paragraph, you could change "He was corrupt with power because he knew he had the control of all the animals. They were at his mercy." to "He was corrupt with power because he knew he had the control of all the animals; they were at his mercy. " unless you made the latter sentence short to emphasize.
Second paragraph, you need a comma after "case"
Third paragraph, you need a comma after "injured"
Third paragraph, "When Boxer was injured Napoleon sends for a van to take Boxer to the veterinary surgeons, explaining they can take better care for him when the van belongs to a knacker." should be "When Boxer was injured, Napoleon sends for a van to take Boxer to the veterinary surgeons, explaining they can take better care OF him when the van belongs to a knacker."
If "knacker" is a name, it should be capitalized.
Third paragraph, you need a comma after "cruelty" and after
Third paragraph, need a comma after "Boxer" in "Boxer a hardworking horse was rejected by Napoleon and put down to death due to his injury." and make "hardworking" into "hard-working"
First sentence of the last paragraph, you need a comma after "there is"
Last sentence of the last paragraph, you need a comma after "overcome this"
- 5 years ago
First of all you must separate your paragraphs via putting an indent at the of every new paragraph. An essay should be roughly 5 paragraphs long and a phrase depend off anywhere from 600 to 800 phrases. Format is as essential as grammar. The place is says my mum and dad had concept me one of the finest human values, i'd trade it around just a little possibly something like my dad and mom' idea me to be one of the crucial greatest of human values. Also assess how you might have some sentences worded and make sure that they make feel and aren't to complex to appreciate. Preclude making use of the phrase you and check out to re phrase it. Looks like you did a good job warding off the use of contractions. Additionally on your final paragraph within the first sentence you've gotten because folks due to the fact it i might use considering the fact that individuals. It is another word to preclude in an essay. As opposed to that it appears such as you did a just right job along with your thesis and conclusion. Learn it out loud or have anyone learn it out loud to you so which you could hear any errors. Print off two copies that method while you hear a mistake you could spotlight it and work on the layout. Just right luck to you.