I need advice, How to I tell my friends that I cant go out to clubs? Please read?
I need some advice with something so Im here.
Im an 18 year old guy and I have just started university, and things are good, everything is very different from My life a year again.
Im starting to make some new friends, and I am enjoying it very much, but the one problem I have is the nights out.
Im not the most outgoing person in the world, but the college organises nights out to clubs and bard etc .
My problem is that I really dont enjoy this kind of experience, I have a small form of epilepsy, but with strobe lights or flashing lights and loud music is a trigger for me to get Migraine pains and shooting pains in my head and sometimes down my back and arms,It is very hard to cope with as its quite painful, and when It happens I dont like being away from people who dont understand it. It makes clubbing or going to loud concerts or noisy places a bit of a problem for me, so I decide not to go.
But in college noone knows about this, and people keeping asking me, why arent you going out and why werent you there, we missed you etc. and I really hope people dont think im trying to avoid them.
Im quite ashamed to tell them about it because Its kinda embarassing to me and I dont want them to think im unwell. i dont know what they'd think of me.
I feel though that college life is centred around clubs and nights out, and that Im missing out on a huge part of college life and I that people wont want to be friends with me because they think im not a fun person to be with.
I make excuses saying that my parents just dont want me to go out and they wont let me (which is true to an extent), but I dont think they really buy that. I kinda think they know that theres something else up. I dunno. But I dont know how to tell them this or how I should, but i think im going to have to eventually, but i dont know how to explain this to them. I dont want them thinking im some sort of losser or sad case that I cant go out, I mean I can, its just i prefare a place thats not so busy with no flashing lights or loud music. What should I tell them, how should I approuch people to tell them, I feel Ive kinda lied to them saying my parents wont let me because they think im to you and they are just being mean :S Any advice ?
- 7 years ago
You're wrong about one thing. University life is not centered around night clubbing. There are society events where you can just meet up at your Uni bar or in a lecture room and hang out. I went to a lot of those and met so many different people and made friends.
Also, night clubs are not even the best place to socialize. Conversation is difficult when you have loud music and only drunk people to talk with. Look, I'm not saying night clubs are evil and terrible because hey, Uni life typically involves the night club scene. However, I know many other people who are able to socialize without ever going to night clubs. Having drinks at a bar or pub are just as good.
You could just say you prefer hanging out in a bar, coffee shop, around campus etc. Just be honest with your friends and say "Sorry guys, night clubs aren't just my thing". You don't need to reveal your epilepsy problem if you don't want to. And if they're your friends, they'll understand.
- siverlingLv 43 years ago
hi! First, did you recognize for particular you could not pass to a club? Like, do you in basic terms anticipate that is going to set off your epilepsy so that you've not tried, or did you recognize from adventure? If that is in basic terms something you *imagine* will ensue, then I advise you sorting out a club on your own to work out the way you react to it. I quite have some different thoughts. First, there is not any opt for to inform human beings you've a medical problem. in basic terms say you aren't any more keen on the noise and commotion and may want to fairly pass someplace quieter. If those activities are prepared on a smaller scale (case in point, no longer by technique of the school itself, yet by technique of the RA of a dorm or something), then you quite can communicate to whoever's responsible and ask for more advantageous type in the events. i'm particular there are others who, for inspite of reason, are not keen on clubbing both and may want to get excitement from a replace in surroundings too. or you could in basic terms tell human beings you've epilepsy and that is. they could no longer be as adverse to the idea as you imagine. in this international, such issues as epilepsy and melancholy, etc. are not as stigmatized as they were many years in the past. I imagine human beings will be accepting and curious, no longer advise about it. And in the experience that they gained't like you because of something stupid like epilepsy, then quite, why are they your associates in the first position? And in case you layed all of your playing cards on the table, then each and every human being might want to understand the opt for to accomodate what you opt for. in case you in basic terms suggested you don't like golf equipment, then that they had in all likelihood be like, "ok, properly his loss, he doesn't ought to come if he doesn't opt for to." yet when you are saying you could not pass to golf equipment, that they had in all likelihood be more advantageous in all likelihood to locate something else to do. sturdy success and do not enable your ailment get in the way of having exciting. :)
- 7 years ago
No u shouldn't be embarrassed just tell them the truth. Instead u should invite a few friends over to your dorm
- 7 years ago
If they are true friends they will understand!.