Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 7 years ago

My wife cheated on me with her boss! should I divorce her?

It all started like an innocent concern from my wife about her boss' relationship with his girlfriend. In my wife's eyes, her boss' girlfriend was not treating him well and not making him happy because her boss is a very nice guy, so she decided to intervene.

My wife really cared about her boss, but not in a sexual way or anything like that. but I think she got carried away with her "care" for him and started to develop feelings for him.

My wife decided to take him for a few drinks and talk about his relationship with his current girlfriend (my wife was trying to hook him up with another co-worker) but that is when everything went wrong, because he flirted with her and she fell into his nets!

After a few weeks of weird behaviour between my wife an her boss, I decided to purchase a very small recorder and put it in her purse. To my surprise I caught her in tape confessing to a friend that she was cheating on me with her boss and that my wife has feelings for her boss!.

I put the recorder on her purse yesterday and I caught her having dirty conversations with her boss and telling him all kind of nasty and kinky stuff while he masturbated right next to her in the car. All this happened when he was giving her a ride home every night.

When I confronted her last night (without her knowing that I had a recording) she completely denied it and said that nothing happened between them. After playing the recordings for her, she admitted (to my shocking surprise) that the affair was a couple of weeks old and that not only her boss masturbates next to her while driving, she has also giving him a hand job and 2 blow jobs on different days while he drives her home.

She also admitted that he fingered her in the car while she was giving him the second blow jobs, and that they almost had sex in the restaurant where they work. She said that she has feelings for him, but she doesn't know if she loves him or if its all just a sex thing or what... she is completely confused because she cares about him. She says that her feeling of "Care" for him got all fogged and one thing let to the other.

She says that she wants to be with me, have my babies, and grow old together... should I believe her?

I consider myself a good husband, I clean, do laundry, cook, vacuum our apartment, iron her work uniforms, take care of her wile she is sick and I run to the store to get tampons and pamprin if she needs them, I HATE CHEATERS and I don't cheat, but I love her so much!!... I don't know how could she have done that to me! what did I do wrong?

I called her boss and told him that I will call corporate and tell his girlfriend if he doesn't transfer to another store (he is transferring in a week to a different store) and also to leave my wife alone.

My wife right now is trying to figure out what feeling does she has for him, is it love? is it lust? is it just a misunderstanding of her emotions? and also whether she will relapse if she were to be alone with him again.

Right now we are taking some time off from each other, even though we still share the same apartment, we are sleeping in different rooms.

I just can't get the picture out of my head of my wife giving her boss oral sex while driving home, and a hand job right in front of our apartment!!

I love my wife with every cell in my body. I was virgin when I meet her at the age of 28 (now I am 32), I don't know what to do, should I divorce her? should I give her another chance? can I trust her?

14 Answers

  • 7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    OK, forget all these other posters. There is only one question you need to ask yourself: "Is she worth a second chancd?"

    It sounds like the answer is yes. If you love her, give her one more chance. Go to counseling. Do the hard work of rebuilding trust. Isn't she worth it?

  • 7 years ago

    It sounds like you are really mentally struggling with this issue. I know how hard it is to love a woman with every cell in your body, when you know for a fact that she is having sex with another man. I had an old girlfriend who would do this, and the nights that I knew she was having sex with him, I'd be so angry, hurt, embarrassed, and a lot of other emotions, while at the same time I'd be longing for her return so I could prove to her how much I loved her. I wanted to be the one she loved with her heart. The fact that another man was ejaculating inside of her seemed beside the point. The poster above me is right when he says is she worth a second chance. Weigh the pros and cons. Only you can decide.

    Source(s): I've been through that.
  • 4 years ago

    I'll give the same answer I give the ladies asking about alimony. It is seldom awarded these days, and if awarded, only in marriages of more than 10 years to the stay at home parent spouse. So I doubt you will get spousal support. I made 4x to 5x what my ex-wife made, married for 7 years and she got no spousal support. I don't live in GA, but my story is pretty typical.

  • 4 years ago

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  • 7 years ago

    What she did was a dispicable, disrespectful thing. Divorce her if you want to... but if you don't want to, I do believe you can work through this and move on to an even stronger relationship with your wife. There are statistics that say that 50% of relationships fully recover from infidelity. You can be one of these, but you'll need time, lots of communication & maybe a good marriage counselor or marital mentor if you guys cannot do it alone.

  • 7 years ago

    WTF Grow up get some guts , she see's you as a whimp ! She will do this again so sending the guy away just gives her a chance to find another Manley man . That is what she's looking for . If you cant be it she will keep looking else where for it .

    If she said it was just sex up front with out delay maybe you have a chance but she isn't sure so you should be very very worried ! Only way this works is if you become a cuckold.

    Best of luck , sorry to be so blunt !

  • 7 years ago

    Chances are, your wife had full blown sex with this guy and is just minimizing it by lying and covering it up to avoid Divorce! Why don't you contact the boss guy and get the rest of the story? I'd see about Divorcing her before even thinking about having children with her, because, if she's doing this now, what happens when you two have children?

  • 7 years ago

    honestly, i do not see a reason to trust this woman. She already chosen her way by cheating on you. My openion is that you let her go her way and find yourself another woman. No more trust and no more another chances as she will never be again the same woman you loved.

    I understand this is hard becasue she was the first woman in your life, but the faster you escape from this trape, the faster you will be healed.

    Look forward for your future with another woman whom do not cheat on you and care to have your own kids.

  • 4 years ago

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  • 7 years ago

    That lucky *****. She dont deserve you. Give her another chance and she might do it again. You sound like a sweet guy. She cheated on u once and she will do it again. Him switching to another location wont stop her from seeing him, or calling him, shes gonna find away. Good Luck

  • Liza2
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Yes, you should divorce her.

    If you are not going to divorce her then read the book, "Love Must Be Tough" by Dobson.

    Don't just sweep this under the rug if you don't want to get taken advantage of further...

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