What should I do for my "best friend"?
I'm a 16 years old boy and since I was little I wanted a big brother.One year ago I met a very friendly guy who is 24 years old,(He's not that mature as his age tells.He plays games,makes a lot of jokes,etc)but we didn't spend much time together because he is busy with his job.But he always made time for me.
As a shy guy,I don't have many friends.And I feel like when I'm connecting with someone,I'm annoying them.I feel the same here.
In the last months,we hanged out a lot and we've developed our friendship a lot.He became my best friend,tho' he doesn't feel the same about me.But few days ago I upset him with a very small reason.He said we shouldn't talk 2-3 days till he calms down.
He's very polite and very friendly to me,just like a big brother does.
But 3 days passed already and he's still not talking to me.
What can I do to make him forgive me? I want to be the friends we were at the beginning.:(
P.S. I had a terrible past and I didn't spend much time with my parents,so that's why I wanted a big brother to protect me.There's nothing else here,just friendship.
@Auri ...O.O.....You simply shocked me!!!...In a good way ofcourse.Yes!Yes and Yes!..You're so right o.O..it's like you read my mind or you were here o.O...Wow!..I really look forward for your help!:)..Please:)
I feel like i've been smothering him too ._.
And I'm afraid that he never missed me.I'm always the one who wants to hang out,or ask what's going on but he doesn't mind,he accepts everything,except when he's busy.I told him many times that I missed him and he showed no emotion for that,just changed the subject.But in the rest of the time we spend a lot of good time together.I upset him because I didn't want to go someplace he wanted because there was my teacher and some people I don't really like.As I said up there,I consider it a very small reason to get upset but I'm still waiting for him to calm down..
- AnnaLv 68 years agoFavorite Answer
First of all, is it possible for you to explain what it was that upset him? It may not make a difference, but it might help me give more than just general advice to solve your problem. It's not necessary, but if you do, I'll edit my answer.
Here's what I would suggest. Give him a few days more, say 4 to 5, without pushing or even trying for a longer conversation that what would be polite if you simply bumped into him by accident. It's highly likely that he's still angry not just because of you, but because of other, outside pressures on his life. If that's the case, than those 3 days away from you haven't been spent in a calm manner, and he probably just needs a little more time.
Perhaps he feels a little smothered by the attention you've been giving him. He likely understands that you've gone through a lot, and he might feel that he's responsible to be the parents you never truly had around, the big brother you always wanted, a family.... This is certainly not to say that he doesn't like you, or that you're burdening/annoying him (please, do not think that!) Just that he needs a moment to reflect, and soon he'll understand that all you want is HIM - the good friend he is. Once again, time is the key. It will show him that you're independent too, and don't 'need' to be around him all the time. It will also let him see that it's lonelier without you around - he'll start missing you as well.
After a week or so has passed, go talk to him. Be casual, and don't bring up the whole argument unless he does first. Start of slow - short conversations, easy topics (i.e. movies, games, the weather), which easily break up if there's any tension. And build up from there. If enough time has passed, and you feel he's still not responding, then talk to him. Just be straight up and honest - apologise for whatever it is that happened, explain how you feel, and ask him what's wrong. Ask him if he wants more time, more freedom, etc. Show that you care, and tell him why he's important without putting any pressure on him.
I hope it helps! You two sound like great friends.
PS: I see in your past questions you wanted to befriend this guy :) It's really nice to see that you have. Just shows you that you can do anything.
Edit: I'm editing my answer because I see you've posted this question up a lot, and this really is worrying you. Here is my alternate suggestion. Wait the 4days to 1 week I told you, and if he's still not talking to you move to the 'talking stage'. Explain exactly what you did to us on answers yahoo, and he should understand. If it still doesn't work? Do the waiting, small talk, building up I mentioned, and then have a long talk again.
Good luck sweetie! I'm sure it'll work out! You both sound like good guys.
- hirschfeldLv 44 years ago
Ever for the reason that i became into little and til in the present day i've got continuously called my mum "Mummy" and my dad "Daddy". merely because of the fact they by no potential replied to "mum"/"dad". and that's often caught, i assume. same with my siblings, too. I swear each time my mom calls me at artwork, and that i answer asserting "hi, mummy", i'm getting the main strangest seems from my artwork colleagues. They continuously locate that hilarious and frequently take the mic. and that i will easily see why that's humorous lol yet, that's by no potential replaced, and that i doubt it is going to. mothers and fathers will continuously be Mummy and Daddy. And specifically because of the fact they won't reply to the rest from their babies! : )
- 8 years ago
Talk to him about it , tell him all of the things that you wrote above here
And that u always needed a big brothet and a bestfriend like him , show him this post that u've written
U should talk with him dont keep anything inside bcoz of ur shyness