Are children truly worth it in the end? Do you ever regret them?
I mean all the sleepless nights, mess everywhere, dirty nappies, crying, tantrums, their constant need for attention, financial burden, the stress, the list goes on. Is it all worth it?
I want kids but then I think of all the negative and it's just so off putting that I don't want to regret it, but then again I don't want to miss out on anything great either from being scared of taking the huge leap.
What are your thoughts on the situation?
- ChucklesLv 77 years agoBest Answer
If you can only focus on the negatives, then maybe children are not for you as this is not usually the way a person with maternal instincts thinks.
You yourself went through all those stages and your parents "put up with you".
How can you dwell on the negatives? Look at the precious bundle that was created.
- sleepless nights - baby is hungry (it has to grow, it's thirsty), baby needs company (its a big strange world, cold world), clean nappy (baby can't help it). Wind - this causes a baby pain, discomfort and it cannot sleep with pain.
- mess everywhere? A baby cant make mess - the parents do. A toddler makes mess as they explore, but its the parents who allow their children to be messy and to constantly clean up after up them. A child can be taught to put toys away.
- dirty nappies? - wow. what else is a baby/child to do? its a natural thing. You required nappy for a time period at the start of your life.
- crying - crying is a babys communication. its the only way it can communicate its needs. A mother knows their babys cry - wind, nappy, hungry, upset, lonely etc etc. A baby does not cry for the hell of it, there is usually a meaning behind it. Crying is the only form of communication a baby has.
- tantrums - this is a stage/level of growing up. Tantrums are all about learning right/wrong, learning boundaries and how far they can be pushed. Tantrums are a learning curve for children.
- constant need for attention - without attention babies/toddlers die!!
- financial burden? - you don't put a price on children - your parents didn't put a price on you! The cost of a child and/or children is how the parents perceive the cost. Some want and have the best of everything and living is expensive. Others are happy to do with what they have and have a happy moderate life which is less expensive. You cannot say children are financial burden, unless you are happy to say you were/are a financial burden to/on your parents.
- stress - is only there if a person cannot cope, cannot adapt and cannot compromise and multi task etc. Stress is a frame of mind of the person, not caused by the kids. It's the parent that has a problem with time/emotions etc, not the childrens fault.
If you think this way, then i do not think your frame of mind is child friendly - you seem the type that would blame the kids for things and to regret having them, blaming them for taking up time/money etc.
I have a 2.5 year old son, a 1.5 year old daughter, i also have a daughter in heaven (stillborn 2005).
So far, everything is worth it. I am in the middle of tantrums and kicking, still have sleepless nights, still have 1 in nappies.
I get good sleep, yes it's broken, but i get adequate sleep. Mess is only when they are playing. My children know to put toys away and they are only young. I only ask and they put toys away (unless in tantrum mode that is). I wasn't hard or firm, just explained since they learned to play that toys go away when finished playing - my kids understood and do this most of the time. My children put their clothes/towels in laundry (this is novel/a game to them). My daughter thinks she's the queen when she puts her own nappy in the bin. They require attention, but only when they want. Some days they want my constant attention, other times they are happy playing together or by themselves with me supervising, listening out as doing jobs.
They are worth it. They are the best things to ever happen to me. They are my world. I do not and never will regret having them. The firsts of everything, the smiles, the new words, the new achievements, the new body movements/actions, the facial expressions just make it the best to be a parent.
Parenthood is not easier, never was, never will be. No one ever said it would be. A parent is there to raise/teach a child, to promote growth and independence, to educate as much as we can and to hopefully guide them into respectful and stable adults who have a happy life.
I could not imagine life without my children, don't want to.They are more than worth it.
- TomTomLv 67 years ago
Never regretted them - for me I dont consider the sleeping nights, mess everywhere, dirty nappies, crying, tantrums, their constant need for attention ect as negative things. When you love someone so much you don't think twice about these things, you do them and you dont mind.
IF you are scared that you ae going to miss out on things because you have children that suggests that at the moment you are probably not ready not have children. There will come a time in your life that you have travelled, maybe done some study, find the perfect man and live a little - you wont feel like you will miss out on anything by having children.
- John McLv 67 years ago
I was a single father from the time my son was 5 1/2 months old until he left home at age 19. He's almost 40 now...and although there have been trying times, and a little grief here and there...I truly believe he was a gift from God...and that I am a much better man for having had the opportunity to raise him. It was back in the very early 70s...when there was a support system in place for single women/mothers...but men were left out. I remember remarking to at least one government worker that I felt I was being discriminated against because of my sex. The reply I got was: "NOW a man knows how it feels!!!" Times have changed...(I think.)
Having children-raising children...I believe..is an important part of the human experience. We learn so much from the experience. I recall more than once...when my son might have acted a certain way I found disturbing...or speak in a certain manner I didn't quite like....being ready to ask "Where do you get off acting/saying things like that?!"......and then I'd stop myself...because I KNEW where he got it from.....me... Like I wrote...the experience can help you become a better person.
Do it!! Especially if you have a partner who is of good character and you can rely on.
- Micahs•MummyLv 77 years ago
Absolutely. Having my son (and hopefully more one day) has taught me about love on an entirely new level. It's also brought a new dimension to my marriage, which is really incredible. I get to watch my husband be a dad and it is one of the most amazing things.
Sure, times can be tough but children are so sweet and beautiful and it far out-ways any of the negatives. :)
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- Anonymous7 years ago
Hell yea they are worth it.... people's children means the world to them...(I dont have any. Im only 15)
When I get older I'm going to have a few kids myself... even though they do have tantrums and all that other stuff its worth it and you will be happy as HELL when you bring ur first child into this world....)Source(s): my mom
- Anonymous7 years ago
Of course they are how can you focus on the negatives? What about when they say mum or dad for the first Time or smile at you? I dont have kids myself but want them and to be honest if your thinking like that then probably best not to have kids
- 7 years ago
no, i believe they're worth it. in my situation, I want to have kids in the future, those whom I can take care, mold, and share my wisdom, and the most special thing, to love them along with my girl.
anyway, don't think too much on the negativities (but I'm not saying not to be realistic). just think about how you can pull it through and how you would feel after a good result. I know it can be difficult, but i feel, in the very end, it's very much worth it. ^_^
- 7 years ago
I have four incredible kids and they truly are my life! I wasn't really living until I had them. They are absolutely always, always, always worth it! My only regret is not having more!!