Going out with a guy who has a kid?

I'm 23 and I have a guy I really like and I know he likes me too. The problem is he has a 2year old, and I don't like kids. He tried to ask me out today and I played dumb and I just don't know if I should go out with him and deal with that later since the kid mostly lives with the mother or if I should just tell him I don't think it would work out.

3 Answers

  • 7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I applaud you for taking pause at this situation. Single-parent children -- and also their parents -- can be very vulnerable during an important time of their development. regardless of whether you like kids, if you met the child it would probably like you! If it began seeing you around it would develop some form of attachment. You need to see clearly and act carefully if you're going to date this man.

    You need to explore your feelings about children, first. Why don't you like them? If you can't stand kids there must be a reason? Have you spent a lot of time around them? If you have little experience with them they can be quite overwhelming. Anyway, if you're convinced you don't like kids and never want to have them then you should just break it off and be honest as to why/

    If there's a chance you might end up liking his kid, then go ahead and set up a date. You guys can get to know each other many times without involving the kid -- as adults generally do, If you two are hitting it off then you can meet the kid at some neutral environment sometime, like the park. It will make you more comfortable. If you do this multiple times and start enjoying aspects of these events, well then.... you do like kids! -- but only ones you know well (this is how I am).

    I generally find kids noisy, overwhelming and full of germs, but I love my stepdaughter and niece to pieces and tolerate most of their friends/neighbors pretty well. I would never dream of teaching at an elementary school or day care. Not for me! But, at 27, I started dating a 23yo woman with a 2yo daughter. Now I'm 31 and that woman is my wife and her daughter is my daughter, too! Good Luck.

  • 7 years ago

    Why not? Thats just too bad. You like him, and he likes you.

    He might actually be really heart broken, considering he has a kid, and he finally found someone that he liked after his break up or whatever. Why don't you like kids? I'm sure if you guys actually get serious, then you're gonna want to have kids anyways. He would want some too. Oh and as a bonus, if you really didn't want kids at all, then the kid is already there. You don't need to go through the hassle. He's just a cute and harmless 2 year old. I'm sure he won't bother you at any way. And his mother might actually have him all the time if you guys actually get engaged ... or whatever. Get me?

    And just go out with him. It's not like its serious at this stage anyways. Just get to know him more, talk to him about the baby, about the break up. I'm sure he wants somebody to talk to. He has feelings too. And i'm positive he'll be shattered if he'd have to choose between the both of you. Can you just imagine someone that you like, leaves you just because you have a harmless little angel? Yeah, tough huh?

    Don't be stupid :) go out with him, and forget he even has a kid. You'll end up loving him, trust me.

    All the best x (: tell me how it goes x.

  • 7 years ago

    If you really like this guy, him having a kid shouldn't stop you from being with him. Also you haven't even met the 2 year old yet, what if he or she is really cute! I love babies! You should give it a chance but if you feel like you can't take it seriously with him then don't do out with him.

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