sex before marriage with a prostitute, can i be forgiven?

hi, maybe for the first few paragraph i would be telling you a story that i wanted to ask about how i can get this over with..

well, first of all, i am a 25 years old male and i am a religious man, i believe in the teachings of Buddha, my entire life i have been thought in the family never to drink, smoke, even play around with a sexual misconduct..

but after all, we are all human, we are our own suffering to be born in this world, and also the desire of human pleasure which leads to wrong action

as for the case for me, i dont even know why but i never had a gf for almost 10 years and i guess that as a human, i am still not perfect to hold that urge to have pleasure and i give my own reason to finally have sex with a Massage masseuse for a couple of times in a year, of course that is using protection

i know, how many times i regret it, and how much i want to erase it from my memory in this life, it will never be erased anymore, i regret it that i didn't save it for the person that eventually will marry me.. there is nothing i can do to change what is done,

now recently i finally find the love of my life, i found a girl who i am dating now, and she's a devoted Christian and we are so far, very very happy being together

i recently talk to her about commitment and trust before we eventually will go into the stage of marriage and we agree that we can put everything that is in the past, stayed in the past, but she also said that we should admit what we done in the past for the trust in the marriage life,

so i prayed to Buddha and even ask for a forgiveness for my Karma and hope i can repay it with a good Karma,

and eventually i told her a part of me where i went to a Massage parlour and told her that i did something bad while i was there, with the mind that she would understand that it can be as bad as having sex with the masseuse there.. ( what else would i tell her? the complete story? )

she told me, that i am forgiven.. and she said every sin a person made, God forgives and she said what's in the past is in the past..

i feel so happy when i know that this girl accept my sex history ( if even she knew that what i meant when i told her that i did bad things in the massage place ) i just couldnt give her the line where i say you will not be my first in sex life anymore.. that i did it with a masseuse..

the question is.. i feel so confused whether i should get over with this thoughts that have been haunting me ever since i know the feel of a true love from this girl.. and i love her so much that it hurts me i didnt wait for her to lose my virginity

now what always think is that, yes, Love is not just sex, there is more to love than sex, maybe if i have sex with my future wife, it will still be special although i will already have a scar in me that she is not the first

but i always try to think, at least that i wore condom when i did it with the masseuse, and technically that although i did it, but i didnt touch the inside of the vagina of the woman that i dont even have love and affection to..

what do you guys think.. am i a failure in this life? i really cant sleep just because thinking about this.. i always try to make my self feel better.. by thinking that i havent done it with other people without condom.. and i shall only safe my whole body without the use of condom to my wife

i dont know.. just wish that someone can talk me into this.. i know in the end, it's still about me, none of you can change the fact that i already did what i did..

thanks..

Update:

if you were a girl, what would you think / do?

i have also taken an oat that i shall never do this again since i am with her, and i always believe that past is past.. i had a couple of sex with masseuse in my entire life and decided that it should be enough

really need advice because i really cant stop blaming myself and really depressed although i am sure that my gf somewhat forgave me

is sex with the person you love ( wife ) can eventually changed the way i think about this from my past dark history

Update 2:

thanks for all the reply

is it still a sin if i told her that i did those stuffs without explaining to her the details? because what i told her is that i did something bad in a massage place, and i didnt mention exactly that i had sex, well, because i think that that alone she should get what i am ashamed and guilt from..

she might think that we only touched each other without really doing intercourse..

because in my teachings / believe.. that, what we done, is our own suffering and karma and people we know or love should not know especially that if this is the past before i even met her

so she is Christian, what would a Christian girl view on this? should i just say mention that i had sex like that or it's enough for her to know that i did "something" bad and just let it be in the past and that something that i only should know and not to let the person i love know more

8 Answers

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  • Arrie
    Lv 5
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I have a different perspective on this. 6 years ago i spend 3 months working as an "escort" i soon lost the idea that escorts where anything more than prostitutes except for on rare occation. i hated it but i really really neeed the money as i had i 1 year old son at home and was living with his abusive father. not a time i will ever be proud of. i got out of it and tried to move forward even when some people around me who knew threw what i had done back in my face.

    i spent the last few years pulling myself back out of the whole i dug, got a college degree, a real job, and dumped the dead weight and got my own place with my kids. when i met the man i always dreamed my ex would be 2 years ago i knew i had to tell him about my past. he was not happy, but like your girl he is very understanding and forgiving. one thing that made me feel better about the whole thing is when it was his turn to come clean and i found out we had slept with a few more people than i did, he just neve got paid for his time. i used to think "i wish i would have met him years ago and then we could have been eachother's first everything" but then i started learning more and more about the guy he was a few years ago (party guy, very imature and irresponsble, and sometimes just mean) i am very glad i met the guy i did, and that he loves the girl i am now even if he wouldn't have liked the girl i was (i didn't). having time to grow and experience life (good and bad) made us grow into the people we were meant to be and now allows us to appreciate real love when we feel it.

    you will never be proud of what you did but you can and should let it go. you had no way of knowing what a wonderful life was coming your way when you did it. people make mistakes (some worse then others) but without those mistakes we wont become who we are supposed to be, and for all you know you helped that girl years ago realize she didn't want to do that anymore, or at least helpped her put some food on the table or bought her baby a big boy bed he very much needed. think of it as charity to a poor misguided girl that didn't know any better.

  • DREW T
    Lv 4
    7 years ago

    Well normally I would not try to counsel a religious person because they tend to follow teachings I do not accept.

    In your case what you did was perfectly normal and a couple of times a year is nothing. It is far better to see a professional sex worker than to lie to a perfectly innocent girl in order to have sex with her. In the West far too many men think it acceptable to take advantage of a woman's trust in order to have sex. And hopefully the money you gave will have been spent on improving the masseuse's life. Maybe it fed her children?

    I think you will always regret what you did, but you are very lucky to have a sensible and understanding woman to be your wife. Go enjoy your future together and enjoy each other's bodies as man and wife.

    Good luck

  • Nancy
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    I have had premarital sex because a) it's fun and I wanted to try it b) because I feel an important part of a relationship is sexual compatibility. If you end up being married to someone you have no sexual chemistry with, there are probably going to be some issues. I've had relationships where the sex was amazing, and others where it was terrible. The lack of sexual chemistry made me realize I could never spend my life with that person because there was no way I'd be able to keep that up for the rest of my life. A terrible sex life could lead to things such as unhappiness or infidelity.

  • 7 years ago

    Your faith isnt very strong as you gave in to temptation ! You made the choice to go with a whore so you have let yourself down badly.

    You cannot change what you did so that is written in stone on your life history.

    You seem very weak and give into temptation easily.

    Only time will tell if you do it again.

    YOU HAVE CHOICES ALWAYS SO START MAKING THE RIGHT ONES !

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  • Moe
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Jesus stood in front of the harlot that the people wanted to stone and said,

    "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

    While you live and breath, you are not past a point of forgiveness.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Beat yourself up once and move on.

    Source(s): Homer Simpson
  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    you are normal. MOVE ON.

  • C Ross
    Lv 6
    7 years ago

    Not if you have an STD.

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