Maddy asked in Social SciencePsychology · 7 years ago

How do narcissists react to being ignored by someone they are in "love" with?

I know they don't truly love since love, by nature, is UNselfish. If they didn't see it coming, how do they tolerate cold indifference from someone they value? I don't mean by falling off the face of the earth (I can only assume "out of sight, out of mind" for a narcissist)... I mean treating them as though they are invisible.

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Actually, "Shih Tzu" is only partly correct. A true narcissist needs attention and praise, true... but not by everyone per se. I am a firm believer that the best way to get a narcissist to leave you alone is to ignore them.

    For any random person, three situations are generally as follows:

    1. You show the narcissist attention and praise.

    Narcissist's response: Continue to use you to feed on the narcissistic supply you are providing.

    2. You criticize the narcissist or show defiance (which may be in the form of ignoring).

    Narcissist's response: Hate you and either hold a grudge or try valiantly to convert you into thinking they are the best.

    3. You ignore the narcissist, not criticizing nor providing praise - i.e. a neutral position.

    Narcissist's response: Realize that you aren't worth their time and ignore you right back.

    As for the original question of being ignored by a love interest, I know that many narcissists cannot handle the hit to their ego when they are rejected; so much so, that narcissists are (paradoxically) prone to suicide with over-exposure to such perceived criticisms.

    The truth though, is that every narcissist will react differently... there is no one standard for how a narcissist will react in this situation. Some will react violently, some will simply be furious, some will stalk the person, some won't care at all, and some will never truly have a "love" interest ever so this is irrelevant.

    I wouldn't necessarily call love impossible for narcissists, we just view love differently than others. Narcissists see love as a source of narcissistic supply, and conquering a romantic interest is one of the best ways to attain this. So yes, narcissists can valiantly pursue a seemingly unobtainable love interest... Like fame, money, power, etc. acquiring a highly regarded partner is also a priority for some narcissists.

    Source(s): I am a narcissist myself
  • 3 years ago

    Ignoring A Narcissist

  • 5 years ago

    They way I see it, having a narcissistic step-father, they will view you as a neutral person. They will try talking to you and manipulate you into thinking they are the best thing ever OR they will ignor you right back and don't give you the time of day.

    So basically, would you rather be ignored right back, or manipulated?

    Unfortunately if you're trying to get them to to feel bad/make them think about their actions they're not going to. You are a chess piece to them. They're plotting a way on how they can use you properly while putting on the front that they are charming. The best way to feel again is to get away from them because I can promise you, they will never understand how you feel. They do not have empathy for people at all. They're only concerned about themselves and that's it. Take my advice and just don't get involved.

    Source(s): Growing up with this bs
  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    A narcissist will try and drag you back in and if he/she can't, will worm into a person's life that knows you. I consider this indirect stalking as my ex-friend is using people to do her dirty work for her. She wants to know everything about my business and then copies me. The sad part about it is her twin daughters are narcissists also. I have known her for fifty-four years and she is still trying to make me out to be a bad person. She cut me out of her life in 2007, but when I didn't invite her to a baby shower, it was like nothing I have ever witnessed before and texted me sixteen times. She are all about lies, deceit, and jealousy and she is NOT getting back into my life.

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  • 7 years ago

    They become even more narcissistic and vain. Shih Tzu was spot on with them not being able to tolerate it; they just become more wrapped up in the whole ordeal and try to force themselves upon their "love" victim. That or they get pissed off and try to make their "love" victim jealous, which usually fails.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    "Just being honest here, A true narcissist is annoying and boring after a while anyways, you get so use to their patterns, boredom will set in "BIG" time. I'm a Aries doing anything over and over to another person, is so sad to witness, even if you have no idea it's a disorder. I had a friend who has narcissist disorder, he drove me right into boredom. I had to place him on the mute mode in my mind most days, he was becoming predictable. U rather live life preying on other people."sad" who has time for that? I would go for weeks of no contact every pity party or rage he toss on me. I knew by then he was clearly very delusional, he would always state how much he is better and how I wanted him, by him calling me using different numbers. I would ask how he's doing and be out again. I was the one racing to get off the phone, hanging up on him or I just wouldn't answer my phone. If I decide to get busted by answering, then came those sick rampages, one way I got back at him. I would just laugh at him, after every hung up conversations ended with laugher. Laugher is for your mental health...remember to take care YOU. "Who are you trying to fool here?" Sometimes he made it easy to laugh, his way of thinking was beyond goofy for his age. Being surrounded by love and peace you instantly see them clearly. He still thought I wanted a relationship with him even after every quick exit, which were many over the phone only. He gave me the creeps. I don't converse with you often and never call you, so why is he so delusional to think I wanted him?.... back then I didn't know he had a disorder but I knew something wasn't right. I'm a very scary person so any hint of being mentally unstable, I out the door, running and screaming. I worked around mentally unhealthy people and the best thing for you to do is to never disrupt their way of doing things or you will get attacked. I had make up my mind from the first day we conversed over the phone. I promise myself I would never be in the same room with this person. It was a done deal if he thought I will ever share the same air he breathed. Not that I'm better but he need help, this I couldn't give him. I did get a couple "sorry" from running away so much, or showing him his behavior, I made his life a living hell right back, you have to release how you feel honestly before you can move on, by being truthful and not overlooking what I felt. I'm a human being and rather he acknowledge it or not, I spoke what I felt without being overly angered. I did ask questions until he became boring and kept doing the same boring things over again, not all the time he was in a rage but he did do things to make you think, okay did he just send me a nude picture of a guy sucking his own penis. "Creepy." Another huge reason I thought to block him from ever calling again, is he hated children but would prey on a single mother in a heart beat. I don't trust no one who hates children....this was more than enough to send me packing. Why posted people children your sexing, thinking I'm stupid. When I heard you talk about how you hated being around them. Sometimes people, you have to learn to listen more carefully and watch people action even more. What's in the heart always falls out the mouth. Charm isn't character, remember that always. Picture the big bad wolf as you walking to Grandma's house." those stories was shared for a reason. All this I witness by being a good listener, even when he thought I wasn't. Narcissistic assholes, don't mess with a introverted person. They will see you miles away. Artistic people see deeply anyways.

  • 7 years ago

    A true narcissist can't tolerate being ignored....by anyone. Period. They will act out or do anything to focus all attention on themselves.

  • 5 years ago

    they will try all their best to woo you over !!

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