Poll: What would you rather have? Diarrhea or Constipation? You HAVE to have one.?

"Neither" is not an acceptable answer.

19 Answers

  • 7 years ago
    Best Answer

    Diarrhea most definitely. Heck even if the question was diarrhea or regular turds I'd probably still choose diarrhea.

    EDIT: just for shits and giggles (pun very much intended) ill give you my reasoning.

    1)Yes diarrhea may hurt before you sit down on the toilet but the the sensation of releasing it is much more satisfying than that of a regular **** or constipation.

    2) in some ways, diarrhea is easier to wipe in a way because its mainly liquid and although it gets all over the place it's easier to wipe away as oppose to solid crap that could smear as you wipe. Even more so if you had one of those cigar cutter moments, those can lead to a significant waste of toilet paper to the point where I rather just jump in the shower than smear my crap back and forth until its clean. Think of it this way, would you rather wipe water off a counter top or peanut butter? Most likely water I assume. In this case, it's shitty water but you get the idea.

    3) Diarrhea sounds funnier coming out.

    4) turd splashes usually don't occur with diarrhea

    5) diarrhea smells better, or worse depending on your taste in fecal smells.

    6) constipation causes prolonged suffering. You could be on the John for 15 minutes before one little goat dropping leaves your ***. Diarrhea is generally quicker to release.

    There you go, I went above and beyond your expectations. Have a great day.

  • 7 years ago


  • ?
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Best Constipation Cures

  • 7 years ago

    From my previous experiences, I've had initial solid constipation, which was blocking the diarrhea behind it. This was the worst as not only did it make me suffer the effects of constipation, but provided me with diarrhea after it. I would never want both at the same time again, so either is fine, as long as its just one at a time.

    Source(s): Master Toiletman with a Phd in Toiletry from MIT
    • Austin3 years agoReport

      You're a dr. For the the crapper? Where exactly does a PhD in toiletry get you?

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago


  • Tim M
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Projectile constipation sounds painful.

  • 7 years ago

    Constipation for sure

  • Angela
    Lv 4
    7 years ago

    Diarrhea. After that goes away, you just go back to normal. Ridding yourself of the other is often quite painful.

  • 7 years ago

    Constipation, I'm used to it. Diarreah on the other hand is as bad as vomiting.

  • 7 years ago

    Much rather have the Squirts because I'd at least have the joy of knowing I might lose a couple pounds.

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