Am I being used? help?
Iv been dating thos guy for about 5 weeks. Hes 18 im 17. We had sex a week ago and ever since he always wants to hang out with me alone. Theres alot of rumors that I a bit of a slut but iv told him that I want a relationship to be more talking and hanging out but when ever i mention I cant have sex with him or that im not going to be alone that night ect. he always backs out and makes up all these stupid excuses. i falling more and more in love with him. hes a real sweet guy and he treats me so good and loves being seen with me ect. but ever since weve had sex its like hes different. please help. how do i talk to him about it? or what do i do? does it sound like hes using me or am i just being dramatic. no hate like your only 17 and stuff like that. thats not what im asking for.
- Anonymous8 years agoFavorite Answer
As an anonymous male from the internet I will tell you the truth about guys (from about 15 - 99 or whenever we become to senile to recognize a female)... It's quite honestly a bit of both.
Young guys have very little need to be "friends" with a girl, except on the premise that they will be able to practice mating with some regularity. This is normal, and true-hearted, and not necessarily a bad thing. When we get to our mid 20's to 30's - then it's sometimes nice just to have a nice soft set of boobies to lay your head on at the end of a long day. Sex is how we show you we love you and are into you; and if we are *real catches* we will do one or more of the following for you semi-regularly without prompting:
* Dress nicely - our definition of nice may be different than yours; please feel free to ask (nicely) for us to wear particular items for you, but do not roll your eyes, nag, or complain when we put striped socks on with green shorts and a rugby T-shirt for going out. That might be silly and embarrassing for you but we really don't understand why.
* Practice good hygiene - sure we will (usually) shower, brush our hair and teeth at least once a day, and try to find the least filthy clothes from our laundry pile, but if we shave, clean out the sink when finished, clip our nails (that might just be a little on the metro-sexual end of things though), etc; that's us putting on a special effort for YOU.
* Accompany you shopping/to dinner at a non-sports bar - We love you enough to hang out with you even when it's something we couldn't possibly enjoy. We really DON'T care what color dress best matches your eyes, ear-rings, shoes, etc. If we can see your boobies, or other revealing lines and curves you might catch our interest. Otherwise we are about as interested in watching paint dry.
... As for the food bit - we may enjoy good food, and occasionally going out to show off a little, but all in all we want nachos and beer. Fancy (and often way over priced) fare made by some egomaniac line-chef who thinks they are the Picasso of food is not appealing to us... Find me one man who actually likes an avocado lobster bisque and/or any kind of mango salsa on their braised tofu-salmon filet and I'll start by checking his nails.
* Talk to you/listen to you - Men have only a few conversational topics in common with women. We don't mind listening of course, as long as listening entails some position where we can sprawl on the couch/bed/chair and comfortably adjust ourselves from time to time.
* Pick up after ourselves (women can be bad about this too) - We don't need everything to be ultra tidy and spotless... yeah we can be slobs with garbage over flowing, or various nasty mystery spots in our dwellings; and that's kinda gross, but if we are dating/living with/married to you, it's fair to expect us to pick up our own stuff and at least keep it in discrete piles out of the way of things.
It may sound like the raw end of the deal, but in all honesty we just wanna have a good time - and in our hearts and minds sex is the best way to share that good feeling.
At 17 you may not be ready for a real relationship with this guy, and sex has certain risks that can be distinctly life changing. Remember that you are the one in charge of the goods, but if you are responsible and cautious there isn't a real need to withhold yourself if you don't want too.
Guys actually like "sluts" - we don't generally want to exhaust our energy and patience in pursuit of the ********. Eventually we will move on, or have more DIY moments and realize we might be better off that way.
- 8 years ago
To me i think hes using you but thats my opinion. If hes making stupid excuses then there's thats one thing, you should tell him straight up what you want and if he doesnt agree with you then i think you can do better b/c hes not the only boy.Source(s): Just my opinion
- 8 years ago
I don't know exactly that he's using you for sex, but it sounds like he thinks sex is the only thing you're good for. Show him that you can be a great girlfriend.