I'm going to kill myself tonight, but I'm giving one last chance to help me - please help?
I'm going to kill myself tonight - but I'm giving one last chance to help me - please help me?
I am a 16 year old girl. I have been battling with a severely severely low self esteem for a while now. I cannot live my life happy over my appearance. I avoid all mirrors and reflective surfaces and hate going out in public. I have missed school sometimes so people don't see my face. I have tried everything but nothing works. I cry constantly over the way I look and feel insecure 24/7. I am worthless. I used to get good grades but my low self esteem is getting in the way of studying. School is too much pressure. I am hopeless. My few friends and family won't help or listen, they don't take me seriously. They think I am attention seeking, They don't know how sad I feel every single second of my life.
I have had many thoughts of suicide for a while. I'm always going to be constantly upset and depressed about this shallow world we live in, how mean people are and the way I look. The only thing holding me back were my parents but I can't continue life anymore. Every minute feels like I'm being stabbed with a stake in the heart.
I am 100% being honest. Right now I have a rope I found in my garage and a chair. I'm planning on hanging myself tonight. I'm crying badly as I write this and I am so so sorry for what I am going to do to my mum, father and two brothers. I love them and I hope they live amazing lives. I wish them all the best happiness and I want them to be strong in my demise.
Even though I have tried everything I can to stop this severe depression before I go ahead I want to see if anyone could help me stop hanging myself. I'm pretty sure I am going to do it - an hour or two. I'll write a suicide note telling my family goodbye and wishing them love. Maybe when I'm gone they'll see this question.
I promise you I am not trolling or anything. I genuinely feel this way. I have tried self help books, articles, positive thinking, fake confidence etc. Nothing works. Maybe someone could persuade me but I am very determined on my plan for tonight.
(27/08/1996 - 27/09/2012) xxx