Critique a Song- Lyric- I am writing?

Question

"Dark 'N Strange"- (Lyrical) Verse 1 & Chorus

Ya wonda why I'm filled with so much passion and rage/

But that's what happ'n when ya lessen a man to a cage/

I haven't even unleashed the darkness/

Imagine a soul that's heartless/

Crowley is weak compared to the I beast/

Within me, 'n He I now release/

It in I and we have begun to feast/

*Spit it out*

Shut ya impudent mouth n listen/

Time ta quit ya fu**in' insolent dissin'/

Check me out I'm hookless/

Reckless/

You follow the text n I'm bookless/

Check this/

Determination look me in my Eyes/

Ya gunna stay in tha gutta, mutha fu**a, just to watch me rise/

RA!/

I am incomparable/

Can't match me, I'm too lyrical/

I am an assassin/

*Breath deep*

I am the heir, with anthrax-in/

How I see it, You nuttin' but fails/

You in a row boat bi***, n my sh**s got sails/

Ya call me crazy/

Ya vision is hazy/

And ya thinkin is lazy/

What I know would make ya a sage see/

I'm filled with these higher optics/

Shouldn't need a telescope ta spot this/

but you do

What/

Hoss is Down, Livin life like love/

'N neva givin' a fu**/

I Come here to shut ya ta He** up/

------------Chorus-----------

Duranged/

It's Dark n Strange/

You askin', "What am I"/

Darkness Fire burnin' opaque, I neva Die/

Strange Set by Ra, Look to tha Sky/

Nothin' weirder than I/

So Dark N Strange

I Am, Cryptic Poetic Hark outta Range/

Who is, Dark n Strange/

Ya frightened of tha commin' age/

Ya too tormented by change/

IT'S NOW

Needa label me "I Am" - The Omnipotent is Dark n Strange!

PLEASE: Keep the Critiquing Positive with Advice if you don't like it!

Answer 1

Favorite Answer

Damn good...'tis really thrilling...I can feel that exhileration inside me...

Great work!

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Answer 2

each music has a round movement or some thing involving the ultimately make it greater by way of first, spelling effectively.. :P jk by way of giving it a intent, feel: to whom or what sort of character might i commit this to? then within the music ship them the message. feel of what factor u are looking to get throughout and so they can support the melody to ur music. along side the rhythm. :] i find it irresistible, however do not precisely understand in which ur attending to except the truth that if u get there, ull get there. speak approximately what u might do if u did get there, and say, sick get there as soon as i am getting there. :] provide extra intent to ur music :] however it's well to be critizised. no longer by way of just one character or factor thou. many critics critisize for the satisfactory. thats how u become aware of precisely what u are or what u are growing and if u wish, get greater. wish i helped :]

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Answer 3

Different that is for sure! It intrigues me, gets me thinking, I like it!

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