My parents found my boyfriend's condom in the trash...?
Ok, I'm mortified and totally freaking out. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 6 months now. He is my best friend and I love him more than anything. We've had sex a few times now and we always use protection, but the other day, my dog ripped open my trash bag. When my parents found it, they noticed the condom that was in it. I haven't talked to my parents yet, my mom emailed me yesterday (while we were watching tv, sitting right next to each other... Which stressed me out even more) and told me she wanted to talk after my sister went back to school today. I. Am. Freaking. Out. My parents and I never talk about sexual stuff, we've never had "the talk," and we don't really talk about anything remotely important... That's just the way my family is. My parents are very awkward people and they don't want to think of me as an adult. I'm extremely nervous about what my mother is going to say to me. I'm more nervous than I have ever been in my entire life. I don't regret what I've done, I'm mature enough to handle myself, and my boyfriend and I (I'm a senior in high school) talked about it extensively before we started having sex. We are very safe about it. I want to tell my parents these things, but when we have discussions like this I shut down, get mad, and get upset. It's just how I react to uncomfortable talks. I don't want my parents to think I'm immature or am being stupid though.
My question is, what do you think my mom will say when we talk tonight? I just want to know what to expect. I don't think she'll get mad, but what will she want to know or say to me?
- Anonymous7 years agoFavorite Answer
I agree with Raptor Mama and think that there is clearly something wrong with the lines of communication at your home if your mother has to email you something while sitting next to you. Your response to anything your parents say should be exactly what you said here:
"I'm mature enough to handle myself, and my boyfriend and I (I'm a senior in high school) talked about it extensively before we started having sex. We are very safe about it."
If you can't tell them that in person without getting upset, then resort to your mother's line of communication and tell her this in an email. You sound like you are as mature as you say you are, so hopefully you will be able to convince your parents of this.
- Anonymous7 years ago
If you are as adult as you say you are, then you should not be afraid to speak with your Mom on a Woman to woman level. I'm sure she is going to ask if you take precautions so that you don't get pregnant. she may also say you are too young to be doing this... Well this is when you MUST be totally adult and NOT get upset or angry. it will only alienate your Mom and that will accomplish absolutely nothing. And next time ( if there is a next time) tell your boyfriend not to put his used condoms in your family trash, that is NOT a mature thing to be doing is it? flush them down the toilet. Having said all that I honestly don't think you are old enough to be having sex. so it might be a good thing to stop while you're ahead and not pregnant.
- howardLv 57 years ago
Lets see. "Hon, I am so disappointed that you are having sex in our home and that you aren't even married yet. DId you give any thought to the fact that your sister may have come in on you? What about when you get pregnant? Condoms are not very reliable, the break easily and it only takes one sperm to do the job. I realize you are a senior in high school, but do you really want to be pregnant at age 17? With no hope for a future because you have to get a job in order to support yourself?" I know you love you boyfriend, but is he any better prepared to support you than you are? What are you thinking? Do you know how hard it is to be a parent and what it takes to get by today?"
Oh, wait, that is what the dad would say.
Dad in Maine
- Anonymous7 years ago
Shell ask who to start with. Then she'll give u the "be safe" talk. Then the "u sure he's not playing u" speech. Followed by "your not old enough" or "your not mature enough" then a lovely and nail-bitingly long awkward silence ;) good luck
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- Anonymous7 years ago
Well, one, thank you for protecting yourselves. Good for you. I would, if you haven't already, consider back up birth control in case the condoms ever fail.
Two-shame on your parents for making you feel like there is no line of communication to what is just a natural part of being a person.
Three-just brace yourself for the worst and hope for the best when it comes to the time to talk to your mom.
- GinaLv 77 years ago
Be honest. Tell her you thought it through, have been very safe, and have used protection. I don't think she has any right to be mad all things considered. If she's upset, I would let her know that you just never felt comfortable telling her; that part is honestly her fault as a parent.
- 7 years ago
well when me and my ma had a talk about this, she was very calm and just asked me stuff like, if i was safe, how often, and why. for most parents it isn't about them wanting you not to do it, well it is but they just want to make sure that you know to do it safely and not to an over extent, because they know they can't really stop you from doing it either way
- RebeccaLv 57 years ago
In addition to what RaptorMama said so well, your mom has a right to expect you to respect her home. If she doesn't want you having sex in her home, you need to respect that.