What do you do when something you worked hard at gets ruined, how to keep from getting disappointed?

Oh wise ones. We have all had those times when we created something & someone messed it up on purpose or my mistake or accident. We have had other disappointments that have happened that just can't be avoided or replaced.

Once I heard financial advisor Suze Orman tell a father whose daughter wouldn't repay money she borrowed from him, to go to her house & walk out with her TV. It was shocking & so funny but she was serious. She told him that his daughter would get the tv back when she gave him some money back. It feels good to get even rather than get angry or to find a blessing in a pile of poop.

What matters now is how we see it. How do you soothe yourself or others who experience disappointment. I think people like the "make my day" Clint Eastwood attitude cause it does feel better to be able to get revenge than to just do nothing. Realistically we don't shoot others so how do you take the high road in this situations?

BQ- I was actually looking for wise ways to feel better when disappointed but while typing the question it came to me that positive revenge can be really positive. I once stuck a hammer under the sheets where my husband lays down to sleep because he nailed a picture up & wouldn't put the hammer back after 2 weeks. He put it back & didn't do it again for a while & then I stuck things on the seat of his favorite chair. So tell us how to teach someone a lesson without nagging.

Update:

"J" I was going through a really hard time where he was taking me for granted & I was sick with diabetes to a point where I was drained it would have helped if he would have helped me but he never did. So the hammer is just an example. He became a full fledged hoarder. We have a son who died & I know it had to do with him being afraid to "let go" of anything so he kept everything. I was so literally sick & tired that I had to do something other than tell him or put it away myself. By the way he has about 10 hammers.

Update 2:

P.L. I agree with you. There are ways to teach a lesson or get something done. I am not really a revengful person. I feel everything I do & I want to feel great!

12 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    7 years ago
    Best Answer

    I tried to help my friends and neighbors, and coworkers. I was a union member. I went to meetings, volunteered to help, I was a shop steward, and was even on a negotiating team once. I think back on all the things we got, and had to fight for, often at the price of our health and community status. Every body enjoyed these things, but vilified me and my peers for getting it for them. We got a half day off on Saturday. Then a five day week. We got the day after Thanksgiving off. We got health care. We got health care for domestic partners. I got dental care. Then some actor got elected president, and started the programs to emasculate unions and the US worker. Subsequent generations voted for him and his cohorts. One of the last ones actually ran the US economy into the ground and destroyed most of the middle class and most of what I worked my life to get for them.

    I'm retired now, and no longer have any position or place to do anything to help. I want everybody to be aware of the treachery of the GOP, and the false, misleading lies spread about unions.

    I did my part. There's a lot of people that need help now. Please try to give it to them. Obama may not be any saviour, but he, and his party are exponentially better for all of us than the GOP

  • P.L.
    Lv 6
    7 years ago

    I don't like the way you use the word revenge. 'Revenge is sweet' people say and it can be true BUT it's usually short lived. Most people who seek revenge regret it later. Anyone seeking revenge should really take in the whole picture and imagine what the outcome might be, not for ourself and the other person, but for others on the periphery. Everything has fallout and we must be sure that we can handle that also.

    Life is full of disappointments and things more serious than disappointment (maybe serious hurt and anger issues) but we DO have to get over them if we want a peaceful life and we'll all find our own way of doing so without exploding - I hope.

    Regarding the father and the T.V. that is not taking revenge; it is a sensible way of solving the problem and gaining some satisfaction whilst also leaving a way out for the errant daughter so that she could redeem her T.V. That is good parenting.

  • 7 years ago

    Why didn't you just put the hammer back yourself?

    OK, so getting personal:

    My partner wanted, shall I say, a 'particular thing done to him while we were in sexual activity'.

    No problem.

    The problem came in when he wouldn't reciprocate this 'particular thing'.

    After a year & a half of putting up with the lack of boudoir activities, I told him "I will reciprocate everything. So that means you have to do it first."

    THREE YEARS LATER, he got the message.

    I made him pay a little in interest before I got back to normal activities, but we are all squared up now.

    Sometimes you just have to hit them where it hurts. And sometimes it takes a long time.

    And some things--like the hammer--are not worth stressing over.

    Relationships are all about give & take & compromise. The wise thing is learning the difference & when to applicate each one.

  • 7 years ago

    I wish I knew, Power. Funny you should ask this today. I just had a nasty experience of that sort.

    Over the last few months I've been writing a small book on the history of our local region. Its an interesting place, the site of the first settlement of Europeans in our State, and it was a convict settlement to boot. The only books on the subject are a few heavy history books, so I thought I'd pen a little one, something that visitors to our town could read over a weekend.

    When I was researching at the local Library, the lady in charge of the History section would come over and chat, and I told her what I was doing. She said " Why would you bother ? People can just read these history books", but I explained that a little book, even a booklet, to be sold at the Museum and the Information Centre, would fill a niche. She seemed polite but uninterested. I kept on working on the book over a few months, and was up to the stage of getting good pictures to liven it up.

    Yesterday, by an amazing coincidence, I was working at the Museum, when a delivery arrived . When I opened it, there were hundreds of copies of ....you guessed it.....a little history book about our area's early convict settlement, by my "friend" at the Library. She'd got it published by the Library and there it was, with her name in large print on the front. She has obviously stolen my idea, and has put this together using her considerable resources at work. And got her employer to pay for the printing.

    My little book is now in a box in the spare room - no point going on with it now. Hers is pretty much the same thing, and she'll be basking in the compliments of the locals. Meantime I put on a brave face and say " well done ". And I move on, but I wonder what Clint Eastwood would do ?

    Anyway I feel better just telling you about it -- thanks for the question !

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Milton
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Like your hammer experience, I used small issues as teaching tools. To get my kids to put their toys away, after telling them more times than I care to remember, I started making any toy on the floor at the end of the day disappear. When they were down to about 50% they started noticing. When they asked where they were, I said, "Oh, I thought you threw it away because I found it on the floor. I disposed of it." It wasn't long before all the toys were being put away and then the disposed of items magically were found. That works for laundry too or anything that needs to be returned to a place after use. No fuss, no anger, no demands. Just quiet action. The removal of the TV idea is the same principle. Do what you are supposed to do and the magic disappearing act stops.

  • Dave M
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Remember working on the new Denver airport - putting in the badge handling system - a system that was never designed to do what we were putting in to do - remember a full year of wonderful paychecks doing some of the best welding I have ever done - five years later they were tearing it all out.

  • Keith
    Lv 6
    7 years ago

    Long story short, I bought a nice car, the most I had ever paid for one. I only put collateral protection on it and it wrecked due to a mechanical failure. I paid on it for an entire year before the collateral protection finally finally freed me from the rest of the debt. I was pissed off for months and as to your question I don't think you can keep from getting disappointed.

    @Stella..I would not be able to stop myself from tearing every last one of that librarians hair out if I were a woman, and if she were a man I would take her out on the "company green." By God one of us would be in the right when I got through.

  • -
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Revenge is not the way to handle it for a couple of reasons...it can have unintended consequences that can hurt others and come back to haunt us till death. But the most important is that we need to let God right the wrongs because our own personal power is miniscule in comparison, our own ability to revenge a wrong is a grain of sand compared to more than all the grains of sand on earth. Have faith that things work out. I have seen things happen to those who hurt others severely, they repaid themselves in ways that reflected what they did wrong...the final justice is judgement day.

  • S
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Oh revenge.... I think we all want it at one time or another. I kept after my hubby time and again to please put his dirty stinking socks in the hamper instead of leaving them where he took them off, so I gathered them and stuffed them in his pillow case so he could lay his head down on them one night.This was 40 years ago. We are still married

    http://en.proverbia.net/citastema.asp?tematica=102...

  • 7 years ago

    As the song sez...

    Pick yourself up...

    Take a deep breath...

    Dust yourself off

    And start all over again.

    Nothing's impossible, I have found

    For when my chin is on the ground.

    I pick myself up,

    Dust myself off

    And start all over again.

    Don't lose your confidence

    If you slip

    Be grateful for a pleasant trip

    And pick yourself up,

    Dust yourself off

    And start all over again.

    Work like a soul inspired

    Until the battle of the day is won.

    You may be sick and tired,

    But you'll be a man, my son.

    Will you remember the famous men

    Who had to fall to rise again?

    So take a deep breath...

    Pick yourself up...

    Dust yourself off

    And start all over again.

    ~interlude~

    Work like a soul inspired

    Till the battle of the day is won.

    You may be sick and tired,

    But you'll be a man, my son.

    Will you remember the famous men

    Who had to fall to rise again?

    So take a deep breath...

    Pick yourself up...

    Dust yourself off

    And start all over again

    Songwriters: KERN, JEROME / FIELDS, DOROTHY

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.