Inspired by Fredric and Doe, C/C?
Fallen leaves fed into sodden dirt,
renewing things that once were lost or hurt.
As the new saplings feed upon this mulch
between man and nature is an ever-widening gulch.
Spring and summer fail to celebrate sun;
air conditioning for everyone.
Unhealthy pallor upon the children's faces,
of outdoor fun, there are no glowing traces.
I remember walking to school the long way,
in Autumn when there were no more long days;
daydreaming of places far and mystic,
knowing natures ways true and intrinsic.
Winter dawns and storms clouds come in looming low.
Ah, summertime of laughter- where'd you go?
After I wrote this I found Neonman's poem:
- ?Lv 77 years agoBest Answer
In England, middle -England
those days of dreaming pleasure still prevail;
Woodland and furrow their treasures generous yield
in England, Ireland, Scotland and in Wales.
We city-dwellers though, forego such boons -
entranced, enmeshed in lifestyles sophistique;
Still, some short drive outside the barren hastes
The tastes of winds from earth, and glow on cheeks.
Vast miles, alive with colts and ponies wild are here -
another world, of leaf, burrow and bird;
The cities are a maelstrom of stresses to bear
yet we can retire to our green fields, so vibrant, fair.
The country - life more cyclical and fresh
relieves us of our commercial distress;
But those in city or in country, poor -
their lot is similar - yet the country-poor less flawed.
Perhaps in these ways yet, our tiny U.K. is unique?
though strange we seem in mores and attitudes.
Our islands small retain some good mystique
Receiving all yet offering no platitudes.
For those of us who`ve dwelt in concrete towers
know well the miserable futile sight of walls -
Thus, once escaped such crushings of human flowers
stroll blessedly amisdt our forests` coloured halls.`
xxxSource(s): TY, for helping me to re-realize and write this! :) (: xxxxx
- john mLv 67 years ago
a morning crashing icy puddles
before the autumn sun can rise from sleep
the coats emerge from hibernated huddles
the harvest fields have been reaped
were once this picture came to me
of childhood spent among red leaves
is concrete covered with not one tree
or stirring nature in the breeze
under my feet lies broken glass
above my head stares a soulless gaze
as rabid dogs scour the underpass
i hear in the distant a weapon blaze
clutched in hands with deathly pallor
2 suns go down one will not rise
outdoor fun in evil squalor
as the autumn sun escapes his eyes
where did this moment get to
why are we still here at all
if natures ways are true and intrinsic
where in this place can i find the mystical
show me winter dawns that give me the feeling
that summertime blues are worth clouds looming in low
let laughter come as we see nature revealing
the ageing of our moment as our hair turns to snow.
I love it and I had to get my thoughts out to keep the moment it inspired.
- 7 years ago
I always enjoyed the long way and there was no school bus,
late to school often
but there was no need to fuss
I brought frogs from the pond as gifts to soften
the scolding, as I tried holding
at least one of the hoppers
as others jumped screaming
up onto desk chairs, thankfully teacher
didn't see my smile beaming.
This was a delightful way to begin the day.
- Anonymous7 years ago
Your piece starts out in typical frederic Esperanto but slowly evolves into English. I think you captured them both well, one on gibberish and one in sense.
I wrote this to express the idea:
I was going to paste the above in the answer but I didn't want to bogart the page and page six all the later Answerers.
I can think of three senses of the first line, leaves as a river (the obvious one) leaves as being tossed into a fire, or leaves being dropped in a pit, all of which distract horribly from the sense of leaves decomposing which the later line clarifies. Yes, very Frederic-like.
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- 7 years ago
This one is put together very nicely. The first line of your third stanza sold us an image of laxer times in very few words. Nice.
It seems like the freedom I knew as a kid is long gone. The children's laughter you hear now has been sterilized and pre-packaged. Great poem. It was my pleasure to read it.
- doeLv 77 years ago
Love you LC. Your poem has that nostalgic kick to it. I used to believe the good old days were gone but I think I'm beginning to see that the new ways and coming days can be good if I try to see them that way- listen to Fredric he is like the yoga master piercing through the waves of cacophony and without ever hearing his voice I believe it to be very soothing.
- KirbyLv 77 years ago
Hey, I'm Irish! That unhealthy pallor keeps me from a Rudolph nose. lol I cannot WAIT for the colors.
- HDLv 77 years ago
This makes me so curious - which one, Fred or Doe, inspired which part? So very nice when there is this give and take between sympathetic souls. Excellent job on many fronts here Miss LC.
- Hope Leslie ShyLv 77 years ago
I agree that many children are spending too much time indoors with electronic entertainment. They are in much more danger that way than if they were playing outdoors. In danger of becoming overweight and lazy and unhealthy.
- 7 years ago
I like the last line... 4.5/5 can't really think of anything constructive to say...