lovechild asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 7 years ago

Inspired by Fredric and Doe, C/C?

Fallen leaves fed into sodden dirt,

renewing things that once were lost or hurt.

As the new saplings feed upon this mulch

between man and nature is an ever-widening gulch.

Spring and summer fail to celebrate sun;

air conditioning for everyone.

Unhealthy pallor upon the children's faces,

of outdoor fun, there are no glowing traces.

I remember walking to school the long way,

in Autumn when there were no more long days;

daydreaming of places far and mystic,

knowing natures ways true and intrinsic.

Winter dawns and storms clouds come in looming low.

Ah, summertime of laughter- where'd you go?

Update:

After I wrote this I found Neonman's poem:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuCaM...

12 Answers

Relevance
  • ?
    Lv 7
    7 years ago
    Best Answer

    In England, middle -England

    those days of dreaming pleasure still prevail;

    Woodland and furrow their treasures generous yield

    in England, Ireland, Scotland and in Wales.

    We city-dwellers though, forego such boons -

    entranced, enmeshed in lifestyles sophistique;

    Still, some short drive outside the barren hastes

    The tastes of winds from earth, and glow on cheeks.

    Vast miles, alive with colts and ponies wild are here -

    another world, of leaf, burrow and bird;

    The cities are a maelstrom of stresses to bear

    yet we can retire to our green fields, so vibrant, fair.

    The country - life more cyclical and fresh

    relieves us of our commercial distress;

    But those in city or in country, poor -

    their lot is similar - yet the country-poor less flawed.

    Perhaps in these ways yet, our tiny U.K. is unique?

    though strange we seem in mores and attitudes.

    Our islands small retain some good mystique

    Receiving all yet offering no platitudes.

    For those of us who`ve dwelt in concrete towers

    know well the miserable futile sight of walls -

    Thus, once escaped such crushings of human flowers

    stroll blessedly amisdt our forests` coloured halls.`

    xxx

    Source(s): TY, for helping me to re-realize and write this! :) (: xxxxx
  • john m
    Lv 6
    7 years ago

    a morning crashing icy puddles

    before the autumn sun can rise from sleep

    the coats emerge from hibernated huddles

    the harvest fields have been reaped

    were once this picture came to me

    of childhood spent among red leaves

    is concrete covered with not one tree

    or stirring nature in the breeze

    under my feet lies broken glass

    above my head stares a soulless gaze

    as rabid dogs scour the underpass

    i hear in the distant a weapon blaze

    clutched in hands with deathly pallor

    2 suns go down one will not rise

    outdoor fun in evil squalor

    as the autumn sun escapes his eyes

    where did this moment get to

    why are we still here at all

    if natures ways are true and intrinsic

    where in this place can i find the mystical

    show me winter dawns that give me the feeling

    that summertime blues are worth clouds looming in low

    let laughter come as we see nature revealing

    the ageing of our moment as our hair turns to snow.

    I love it and I had to get my thoughts out to keep the moment it inspired.

    great.

  • 7 years ago

    I always enjoyed the long way and there was no school bus,

    late to school often

    but there was no need to fuss

    I brought frogs from the pond as gifts to soften

    the scolding, as I tried holding

    at least one of the hoppers

    as others jumped screaming

    up onto desk chairs, thankfully teacher

    didn't see my smile beaming.

    This was a delightful way to begin the day.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Your piece starts out in typical frederic Esperanto but slowly evolves into English. I think you captured them both well, one on gibberish and one in sense.

    I wrote this to express the idea:

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=201209...

    I was going to paste the above in the answer but I didn't want to bogart the page and page six all the later Answerers.

    I can think of three senses of the first line, leaves as a river (the obvious one) leaves as being tossed into a fire, or leaves being dropped in a pit, all of which distract horribly from the sense of leaves decomposing which the later line clarifies. Yes, very Frederic-like.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 7 years ago

    This one is put together very nicely. The first line of your third stanza sold us an image of laxer times in very few words. Nice.

    It seems like the freedom I knew as a kid is long gone. The children's laughter you hear now has been sterilized and pre-packaged. Great poem. It was my pleasure to read it.

  • doe
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Love you LC. Your poem has that nostalgic kick to it. I used to believe the good old days were gone but I think I'm beginning to see that the new ways and coming days can be good if I try to see them that way- listen to Fredric he is like the yoga master piercing through the waves of cacophony and without ever hearing his voice I believe it to be very soothing.

  • Kirby
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Hey, I'm Irish! That unhealthy pallor keeps me from a Rudolph nose. lol I cannot WAIT for the colors.

  • HD
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    This makes me so curious - which one, Fred or Doe, inspired which part? So very nice when there is this give and take between sympathetic souls. Excellent job on many fronts here Miss LC.

  • 7 years ago

    I agree that many children are spending too much time indoors with electronic entertainment. They are in much more danger that way than if they were playing outdoors. In danger of becoming overweight and lazy and unhealthy.

  • 7 years ago

    I like the last line... 4.5/5 can't really think of anything constructive to say...

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.