2nd time posting this, I only got two responses the first time. Opinions on my poem for school?

Could darkness be brought to light

Bringing all shame to accountability?

If so, how could something black as night

Be cured? Who has the ability?

Plagued humanity is by a broken conscience.

A curtain-tearer would give his contribution.

Puritan, pure enough as it is, following his ordinance

Of "love thy neighbor." His kind of rehabilitation.

It is emptiness going to a church, abusing its purpose,

Expecting a new mindset without the needed work.

Puritans begged neighbors saying,"Keep an eye on us!"

They knew how easy corruption, within our minds, can lurk.

And what of vanity? Vain, vain it is to spend one's life in destructible pleasures,

Lifeless like a whitewashed tomb containing dead men's bones.

Hubris, slothfulness, greed must be omitted. The Puritans were its censors.

Wasn't it pride that has overthrown many men from their thrones?

All our methods, lead to one conclusion,

Though they may be from Buddhist, to Hindu, even Puritan,

That we should not partake in immorality's delusion.

Maybe, just maybe, we were all chosen.

My teacher wanted us to write something, a poem, paragraph, or even make a video that defended and helped explain certain Puritan beliefs. He told us that he wanted it,"By 12:00 AM Saturday night, and to be submitted through our school computers. Well, I just submitted it, at 11:59 AM because I had totally let it slip my mind. I just wanted to know that if anyone thinks that this even comes close to what he was asking. He wrote "...is not so much a focus on these beliefs as it is an explanation of the virtues and lifestyle preferences that they engaged in as a result of those beliefs."

I mean, he said he wanted it brief. Thanks for anyone that responds. Good night.

3 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    You could turn this part in to keep it brief, I think it covers your requirements.

    Plagued humanity is by a broken conscience.

    A curtain-tearer would give his contribution.

    Puritan, pure enough as it is, following his ordinance

    Of "love thy neighbor." His kind of rehabilitation.

    It is emptiness going to a church, abusing its purpose,

    Expecting a new mindset without the needed work.

    Puritans begged neighbors saying,"Keep an eye on us!"

    They knew how easy corruption, within our minds, can lurk.

    All our methods, lead to one conclusion,

    Though they may be from Buddhist, to Hindu, even Puritan,

    That we should not partake in immorality's delusion.

    Maybe, just maybe, we were all chosen.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I think it's exactly what Church and the puritan beliefs really is !! you are amazing at writing poems you might wanna submit it in a contest you'd win:) your teacher will like it.

  • 8 years ago

    I don't know If it is what your teacher wanted or not, but it's a great poem.

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