I feel so depressed because of my home life and EVERYTHING!? :'(?

I feel so ugly all the time. I'm a 13 year old girl. I don't feel normal. In fact, I feel inferior. My mind is usually consumed of thoughts about death and my fear of going to school. I think have social anxiety. Probably, but I won't know for sure because I know I'll never talk to my mom about it. I HATE my life. I live in a house of hoarders. Seriously, no free space, crumbs all over the floor, black mold in the shower, crusty old food scattered all over the kitchen, just HELP. The shower is DISGUSTING. I want to GAG. I have never had a comfortable bath in my life. I try to get in as fast as I can and stand on my tiptoes the whole time and then run out. I never have anywhere to do my homework except my room. But there's no desk or anything. Just a rug. There's nothing I can do about it. Whenever I talk to my mom about she just shrugs it off or ignores me or tells me to just shut up already and that I'm such a bad daughter. Then she tries to send me on a guilt trip by telling me "all she does for me." She always rides on the excuse that her knee hurts. Yeah, it does, but that doesn't mean she can't do anything. And she also says I'm fat. And my ******* brother. He calls me a ***** every five seconds because I'm telling him to get off his lazy fat *** and clean something. I'm scared because he threatens me all the time and he used to expose himself to me when I was 6. But "it's not supposed to matter because he has Asberger's or whatever". GUESS WHAT, he stills knows what he's doing. He's 25, fat, and will live with my parents for the rest of his life. I try to create a path for myself by getting the highest grades and really trying in school. But it's hard because it's such a crappy school. My dad is ok but I hardly ever see him because he's at work from 6 AM to 6 PM. I am stuck. I can't do anything. I go to my friend's house sometimes and I hate myself because her house is so clean and flawless and mine is a dump. I am so STUCK. I can't contact my school or anyone because they might take me out and I don't want to leave my family for some reason. HELP somehow.

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  • Bobby
    Lv 6
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Call Child Protective Services. Once they get a look at your house, if it's really that bad, they can lock your deadbeat piece of **** mother and brother up for child endangerment. Also, tell them about what your brother used to do. "Aspergers" is a bullshit excuse for anything.

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  • 7 years ago

    Oh God, you do live in a hell hole.

    Moms knee does hurt,it is not an excuse,else she wont have let her house become such a dump.Why does your family call you fat and lazy.So get up and start cleaning the house,also involve your brother and the other guy in the house cleaning project.

    And make the house cleaning a daily/weekly routine.

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  • 7 years ago

    First thing I have to address

    DO NOT KILL YOURSELF!!!!

    Ok that's out of the way.

    There have been times I felt like my life was crap too. Heck, my life was crap. IT GETS BETTER!!!!

    I have insomnia. It sucks, man, it really does. I can't lie down with my eyes closed for five seconds without images of bloodshot eyes, bloody limbs, and spewed guts entering my head. And I never get to sleep, sometimes I do, only to wake up later. All my friends don't understand me, and everyone think's my life is a joke. Like they can laugh at me and I won't care.

    So you say you're stuck? You are never, ever stuck, and it took someone very special to help me find that.

    I have a best friend, I never realized it until a little while ago. She loves music, and that brought me to love it too. Now I play keyboard, sing, and play clarinet. I also like acting a lot. Now the images aren't so bad, and I trick myself to sleep. I took to biking to help tire myself out.

    Point is, you are never stuck, simply lost, and you need someone to find you a way out.

    my friend has problems too. Her brother torments her, and sounds much like yours. He calls her fat, whiny, and everything he says is B***S***. He is a genuine a**. and she is a life saver. He calls his own mother words I will not even censor.

    What holds us together is mutual need. She calms my nightmares and I help her stand up to the bullies in her life.

    You need to find yourself a way out. Try anything, take recommendations, find a lantern, light the way. You're not alone. As for your house, try cleaning it up yourself [I know that sounds dreadful, but here's the perks] your mother might appreciate your helping. Tell her if her knee hurts, take it to a doctor. If she declines, say "Then it can't be that bad."

    Plan some time with your dad. As for your brother, say something like this when he calls you ugly:

    "You can't get me down anymore. I'm not letting you. You can take your fun in tormenting me, but it isn't getting me anymore. I am a human being, I deserve to be treated right. I have a life, and I'm using it. I don't need your approval. Go on, use your words and threats. I don't care. A few years, I'm out of here. You can't stop me, nothing can. So go ahead, be the *** you are, it's not hurting me anymore."

    I say this to myself when I'm really down: "This is my life story, it's gonna have a happy ending. Nothing is taking that from me."

    Source(s): I feel ugly too. Find your light
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  • 7 years ago

    hey look i understand how u feel i mean i get scared and depressed and sometimes hate my life but i know that something good will come out of this i mean what i would do is at least try to talk to ur mom tell her how u feel or at least talk to someone your close to, tell them how u feel i mean all i can say is ur gonna have to talk, stand up and speak wats in ur mind and i know dat u think things wont change but trust me it will get better :) i hope this helped.

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Just kill yourself then, the after life is so cool, it is SO worth it, oh and don't worry about people saying your family will miss you, because they won't.

    • DON'T LISTEN TO THIS PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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