Husband is going out to hang out with friends after I go to sleep, stays out till 3 in the morning?

So we recently moved and my husband is between jobs basically - he works at a bar on the weekends for about 5 hours but that's it. I'm work 8-5 Monday through Friday at a bank.

Well, ever since we moved back closer to friends and family, he's been going out every night after I go to sleep and hanging out with his friends all night and coming home anywhere from 1 to 3 a.m.

I've been getting mad at him as I don't like him going out every night after I go to bed (he's gone out four days in the past week) and he says that it's not a big deal because I'm asleep anyway so it's not like he could spend his time with me, and that he's just going over there to hang out at their apartment and not literally "going out." He also says he can't hang out with them during the day because they all work - but if they're all working during the day, how the hell are they staying up all night with him?

I don't think he's cheating on me or anything like that, but I still don't like him being out all night. I even tried to compromise and said he could do it every once in a while, but not quite so much throughout the week (four days is getting to be over kill in my opinion) but he just gets upset with me and says I'm making a big deal out of nothing and it doesn't affect me since I'm asleep anyway.

What do y'all think?

11 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    i dont think he's prepared enough to have a family. He cant live without his friends and so with the girls. Better yet observe him for 1 or 2 months.if he didnt change then theres something wrong.by that time you should better make a good and wise decision.dont go through with all the nag thing. be patient and give him a strict question."whats going on??"

    Source(s): my mom's experience
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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Want to find out if he's cheating? Tell him to have his friends come to your house for the next 4 nights. Who cares if your sleeping or not, what if something happened while he was gone. Tell him here is a new idea< "Why don't you do like your friends and get a job during the day.Tell him that you are going to start staying out till all hours of the morning or the next time he come home, don't be there, go get a motel room and when he ask you where you were tell him you went and stayed at a hotel, because it doesn't matter you were sleeping. I bet he changes his mind. I am posting an article for you to read. Good luck

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  • 8 years ago

    My mom has a saying that she says all the time when she hears about a situation like this: "Nothing good ever comes from a married man being at a bar alone after 9:00 pm." She was right, almost 100% of the time. Whether he is cheating on you or not, who else is at a bar at 3:00 a.m.? Drunk women and men who have no inhibitions. Please give him an ultimatium to stop going out and get a day job. Please

    Source(s): Been there done that, not going back.
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  • Eric L
    Lv 5
    8 years ago

    if he's between jobs, but you actively believe he's looking then its not all bad for him to enjoy himself. The one exception would be based on what money he's spending in the process of course. not working means - not spending.

    Its not unreasonable to ask him to keep it to one or two nights a week, tell him you have a hard time sleeping without him being there and that when he gets home it interrupts your sleep and you don't want your work performance to go downhill.

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  • 8 years ago

    Your husband is not your child! He's a grown man who can make good and bad decisions. If you don't like the way he is, you're creating a problem by trying to change him.

    After 18 we are adults and your husband is an adult. Don't mother him. If you can't possibly deal with it, then divorce him, but don't be his warden!

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  • 8 years ago

    My boyfriend would do the same thing when he was layed off. Not that often but atleast once a week. It drove me insane. I finally put my foot down and explained it in a reversal role. That didnt cut it either. He calmed down but still would pull his ****. So when he went back to work, I went out and stayed out all night when he had to work on a Saturday. I also ignored his phone calls ect. He never did it again :) sometimes you have to stoop to their level for them to understand how it feels

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  • ???
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    I think he's being very disrespectful, but that fighting over it isn't going to change anything. His friends will get sick of him coming over every night because they DO have to work. Let him burn his own bridges.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I think it makes you crazy that you can't control him .

    Control freaks get all bent out fo shape when people don't follow their orders.

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  • 8 years ago

    nothing good happens after midnight, especially for a married man

    Source(s): my life
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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Easy out for hubby!!!

    Here's something you can do!

    When he comes home!

    Get close to him snuggle up!!!

    Smell him, and give him a treat (B. J.) if he smells funky!!

    Than the normal.

    WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    And see how he reacts/responds to your moves advances.

    If he kind of pulls you away.

    Guess what??????????????

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