Following my heart - or making my parents happy?

I am 25 and dating a 40 year old man who I love and who loves me back. He is also separated from his wife and they have 2 kids. I have a really great relationship with him and our lives are so finely intertwined and combined that I really couldn't think of anyone better to spend the rest of my life with. He feels the same and cherishes and loves me dearly. We are also planning a family together and to live together/get married once he gets his divorce.

We haven't been public about our relationship but somehow we feel that everybody knows about it and that all our acquaintances and friends are talking about us. However my parents are still in in the dark about it all. I feel like I am living a double life as I know that if they get to know I will disappoint them greatly. I am an only child and till now I have always lived up to all their expectations.

I've tried giving up on the relationship but the time I spend without him is really depressing and I feel so alone. However I've wondered whether this feeling is worth going through in order not to disappoint my parents and keep 'cheating' them with this secret relationship that I have got. What do you think?

4 Answers

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Now that you're 25, it's definitely time to start living your own life and do what makes you happy. Your parents are there for you no matter what-like you said, you're their only child. They are your family and if it makes you happy, they will be fine with it because they love you.

    You shouldn't keep your relationship in the closet-especially if you're planning on marriage abd family. If your boyfriend is true about his love for you, then he will introduce you to his friends and family as well as you should do for him. Tell your parents and bring have them meet. Even if they don't seem to approve, they can't tell you 'no' flat out because it's obvious that your mind is set.

    It's your life and no one else's. So do what makes you happy and the rest should fall into place!

    Source(s): My 45 year old father married a 24 year old and they are very happy together. She is about to give birth to their first child and her daughter calls him Daddy. So there is a happy ending with this! Also, my sister (26) is engaged to a 49 year old!
  • 8 years ago

    You shouldn't worry what other people think - as long as your happy. If you are in love then why should anyone elses opinion matter, it's not like you can help falling in love. Tell your parents. They can't hate you forever and they might not mind. Just tell them that he is the man you want to be with for (if it is) the rest of your life.

  • 8 years ago

    I think you're cheating his children out of time he should be spending with them. He should be concentrating on them, not on you. He's not only breaking up his family, he's thinking about starting a new one, in which the new children will take precedence. What a shame.

  • 8 years ago

    I know your case is really hard,but think your family is not something that you can easily put aside. They are really valuable. The best way is to tell them and take this guy and show him to them. If he really deserve you,make sure that he can attract your family also. If not, just someone worthless.

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