Could you correct this text for me please?
Could you correct this text for me please, and maybe as well to reshape (?) some parts or some sentences ?
" I am a 61 year old French guy who has just retired in Mexico City fulfilling the dream of my life.
I worked several jobs, mostly as a teacher but I was taking off to travel at the same time.
My trips :
- Israel, six month in a kibbutz (1969-1970)
- United States, (1971-1972)
- overland to India and Sri Lanka, (1973-1974.
- South America except for Brazil (1977-1978). I fell in love with Peru.
But my my passion goes to Mexico where I spent four winter seasons in a small village.(1978-1982)
Then the idea of living there came up and here I am in the metropolis of Mexico City enjoying every bite of it. a balcony with a lemon tree, an orange tree and even a baby
I used to be active in politics (French socialist party) but I got disenchanted.
I am a pretty quiet guy, a dreamer, romantic, a little taciturn, interested in almost everything, but with a second or third degree (!) humor.
To end it up : I am jewish and gay, but wether I like or not I do not practice much...
My blogs were interrupted but are starting again soon :
Note : there is humour in these blogs and they are not always PC..."
- B KLv 78 years agoFavorite Answer
Here are my corrections
"retired to Mexico City"
"I've had several jobs . . . "
"I was taking time off to travel during this period".
"six months . . ."
"overland" is not appropriate here. I think you mean "by land"
"my passion is for Mexico . . . . four winters in a . . . ."
Don't start sentences with "Then". Use "Afterwards, . . ." instead.
"enjoying every part of it" - "bite" is for food only which is really funny when you consider what it means in French!!!! ;)
" but I became disaffected" is more appropriate
" I am a pretty quiet" - is enough - leave out "taciturn" it sounds antiquated/pompous and it means the same as "pretty quiet".
"second or third degree humour" - not sure what you mean here - sounds like "second rate humour" which is not good. So delete it. You could say, "I tell terrible jokes", if that is what you mean;)
Some confusion with you last phrase - "Jewish and gay" is fine, but "wether I . . . " should be "whether I like it or not" - and the rest of the sentence is ambiguous - do you not practise Judaism much, or do you not practise being gay much? Might raise a few eyebrows, hehe.Source(s): I'm British, gay, disaffected socialist, native English speaker. LOL;)