what do you think of the the tense in the last paragrapgh? any suggestions?

I should have known it from the beginning – it was a dream. In dreams, people don’t remember how they started and I never recalled how I got to the church. And I got married, with the girl I’m dating now. And things began.

I never promised, but I thought I did imply that I’d sell my late parents’ house and buy a new one. When I felt it was not going to be a bargin, and partly because I loved to live in the familia rooms, I decided to live here. The house was by no means old. For me, it was my home. I just loved it. But for her, it was used, and the furniture and decorations were out of date. It was not what she wanted. But she agreed that it was the best not to buy or rent in a few years. We could live a much eaier life without a mortgage. So we lived here. And she never moved anything in the house or did any cleaning. I loved the way everything was and I didn’t mind cleaning the house myself.

She didn’t like her job. But before she could do anything, we had a girl. I didn’t know if she wanted a girl, but I did. She always said she just knew she would bear a girl. Now, she should be proud, for she gave me what I wanted and what she foretold had come true. I always believed I hurt her somewhere in time and in some way and she’d rather be engaged in her job,which she started to enjoy since she found out she couldn’t change it, than bothering herself with thinking about anything related to OUR life. But eventually, I realized the real reason why I was annoyed by her carelessness on me and our girl – we are all not what she wanted - not the house, not the way of living, not her job either. But in her job, she can live a life that was just like her single time. We quarraled sometimes, because she was always absent-minded at home. But I did my best to be a good husband to maintain the family. Sometimes I did touch her and she would tell me some deeply buried words. Finally, after a quarrel, about what I can’t remember now, I understood her. She said she wouldn’t care about what she didn’t want. She might start a new life, a family-centered life with someone else, but not with me. With me, she could only live the job-centered life. At the end of the quarrel, she confessed, “what you’re asking is love and I can not love you anymore.” Thinking of the lonelieness of my life and the motherless childhood of my child, worrying aobut the future, I wept and I woke up.

I haven’t married her yet. The wedding is today. But I did hurt her. And it’s true I am not going to sell the house. I haven’t think about it clearly. Now the dream did it for me. I should admit she is not marrying me because she can’t live without me. It’s just an easy life for her. Not the best, but the easiest. The real nightmare is the dream will become true. And the only way out of the earthly hell is to change my point of view. I shuold remember there’s no heroine in my life. I should be hurt if she does anything wrong or she didn’t do anything. With this self-protecting imagination, I work my way through. As I deal with the relationship so well, I live happily enough to forget who she is and when I started to enjoy a family life, I was disappointed and I have to force myself to live a family life while keeping the loneliness in the bottom of my heart. That hurts, so badly that I wept and suddenly realized I don’t have any memery about how I came into the world.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    its really good.

    nice one

    congrats!?!

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