Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 8 years ago

Hindu bf has split up with me as he feels his family won't except it, do i fight it or give up?

I'm white 23 and the guy in question is hindu 28. We had been together for 2 1/2 years and recently he decided to finish things as he say's his family would not except me. He is the only boy within his family so he is treated like a god basically. Whilst in the relationship my friends knew what was going on and most of them were convinced that we we're made for each other. When we were together I was the happiest person in the world. I've had quite a rubbish upbringing so to have him in my life i really felt like a princess. He told his friends and a couple of his family. Obviously the family said they weren't happy. He is very much a family man, he loves his parents and grandparents so much but I know he loves me just as much. I have no doubt that I could happily settle down with him. Due to my upbringing I have a very wise head on my shoulders. I don't want to do the partying n messing around, I want the family I have never had. He hate's confrontation of any sort and doesn't like hurting people but I know that this is killing him. We work together so I see him on a daily basis. I'm sure there's so much more I need to put onto this but provisionally what does everyone think. Do I leave it and let him go or do I fight for him? I'm convinced that we could make this work and eventually his family would come round and that we could be happy all together....... What do I do?

Update:

He's told me already that he's 95% sure that he's going to regret his decision and he really doesn't like indian girls which is what his family expect him to marry. I just find it really difficult to just except it and move on when I know he is as miserable as hell and loves me. I feel like I need to do something to convince him that his family will come round to except it eventually.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    This is a very sensitive subject and I am sorry you have to go through this. Families are usually the root of where people come from. As a man I am loyal to my family and my wife had to learn to respect this. However I had my own mind and decided to give this girl a chance (she had a horrible upbringing which my family did not like) We have gone through a lot since those days and I am very happy with her and married. She, like yourself is very strong minded and I am better for it. I suppose the answer to your question is to let him fight for you. I am sorry but this is his decision, not yours. If he is half the man you believe he is he should come through for you. This is something you cannot do on your own, if his loyalty is too strong to his family then I am sorry but this will never mend. This is nothing against your character and being a strong minded woman, you deserve happiness and not this, this is down to ignorance on their part. I don't mean to be so blunt but if he wont step up to the plate, then why should you bother? if it did happen how much more fighting and hurt would come from this? I wish you well with your decision and hope for all the best for you both.

    Source(s): experience.
  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I think you should talk to him about this, ask him the questions you have and let him tell you his side of the story as well. For his family religion may also be a problem, apart from the fact that you are white.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    You can look at this in two ways : do you wanna live with the "WHAT IF" ? If not, talk to him and tell him how you feel and tell him you will fight for your relationship even though he won't that you believe in the two of you and you will fight for it....or you could look at it this way: if he won't fight for you why will you put everything on the line for someone that won't do the same for you? It's a decision you have to make

  • 8 years ago

    Honestly there's no reason for you to fight. You haven't done anything wrong. You are who you are. If he's willing to give you up just because of his family then I think you should let him go to. His mom and other family has conditional love for him. You have unconditional love for him. He chose the wrong side. If anyone should be fighting for something it should be him fighting for you because he messed up and made a stupid decision.

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    Lv 6
    8 years ago

    Why should family decides who should marry their child. I mean, why does that matter. If both love each other then what seems to the problem here and if this is true love, does it mean you will leave him because of his family.

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