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英文作文 請問有什麼地方需要改的呢

學校發佈公告, 因近日來同學違規使用手機事件頻繁, 像是進入學校手機未關機, 用手機玩遊戲, 甚至在上課中偷偷使用手機等, 決定禁止學生帶手機上學。請你( 英文名字必須假設為 Edward 或 Beth)寫一封陳情信給學校, 請學校重新考慮這件事。第一段以學生的立場寫出必須帶手機上學的理由。第二段則站在校方的立場, 對學生違規使用手機的弊端提出解決之道, 好讓同學們可以繼續帶手機上學。

July 28,2012

Dear Principal Lee,

Last day school had a new regulation that all students are not allowed to use their cell phones in school.

I know some students used their cell phones to play games and text messages in class,

but these suudents are few, I think it's not fair to most of students that behaves good.

furthermore, I can learn by my cell phones, for example, praticing english word and listening to the english broadcast.

In my opinion, I suggest the school to adapt the new rule to allow all students use their cell phones between classes and lunch break.

Any studetns should lose the right to bring cell phones to schol if violating the new rule more than third times.

I think it's a better way to take every student's right to bring cell phones to school.

Sincerely,

Edward Wu

4 Answers

Rating
  • Al
    Lv 6
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    The school issued a new regulation recently that students are not permitted to use the cell phone in school.

    I know a few students play games and text messages in class, but I think banning the cell phone is not fair to other students who behave well.

    And I want to add that cell phone is a learning tool for me, for example, I use it to practice English words and to listen to English broadcast during recess.

    I would like to suggest that the school limits the cell phone usages to recess and lunch break.

    A student who is caught violating this rule for more than three occasions will lose his or her privilege to bring the cell phone to school within a year..

    I think this is a far better way than taking away all students' cell phone right.

    2012-07-29 14:15:19 補充:

    will lose his or her privilege to bring the cell phone to school within a year..

    to bringing the cell .....

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  • 8 years ago

    學校發佈公告, 因近日來同學違規使用手機事件頻繁, 像是進入學校手機未關機, 用手機玩遊戲, 甚至在上課中偷偷使用手機等, 決定禁止學生帶手機上學。請你( 英文名字必須假設為 Edward 或 Beth)寫一封陳情信給學校, 請學校重新考慮這件事。第一段以學生的立場寫出必須帶手機上學的理由。第二段則站在校方的立場, 對學生違規使用手機的弊端提出解決之道, 好讓同學們可以繼續帶手機上學。

    July 28th,2012

    Dear Principal Lee,

    Last day(Last day中文意思是最後一天 我覺得跟你想表達的意思部相關,我想你要說的是最近) Lately, the school had had the new policy that prohibits all students from using their cell phones in school.

    From my point of view, I think the policy is not good because I think it is necessary for students to use cell phones in school. When there is an accident or school bully, students can dial emergency call for help.

    For the safety of students, I suggest the school reconsider and adapt another new rule.

    I have a solution to deal with this issue. Before the class starts, the teacher may collect the students’ cell phone, so they won’t get distracted. When the class is over, they can get their cell phone back.

    If the school accepts my idea, I believe we will have a happy and safe environment in this school.

    Sincerely,

    Edward Wu

    Source(s): 我改了很多 還換了你的idea希望你不會介意
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  • 8 years ago

    Last day the school announced that all students were not allowed to bring their cellphones into school.

    As I known, only a few of students used their cellsphones in class, I think it was not fair to most students.

    I suggest the school should allow students to use cellphones on conditions. EX:

    1. Mute the cellphone in class

    2. Using the cellphone in class is prohibited

    3. Only use the cellphone in break time

    If the students cannot obey these rules, the teachers have the rights to reserver their cellphones until leaving school.

    Using the cellphones is not a bad thing, but it cannot affect other students or learning. Right?

    After all, I hope the school side can consider it again.

    Source(s): me
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  • 8 years ago

    You need to spell check your letter first.

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