Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureReligion & Spirituality · 8 years ago

my boyfriend is turning religious and i am not. I am atheist/agnostic.?

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year now, and in the beginning of our relationship he was not religious at all. He had 'agnostic' views just like me, even though his views were more based towards Christianity, and mine were just open minded. Recently he has taken up what the bible says, and plans to attend church more frequently. Me and him had a discussion on religion today and i couldn't help feel that his views had now totally changed. In the discussion we had he now believed strongly in Christianity and even spoke about 'giving himself to god' I then further said to him 'What do you mean give yourself to god?' and he said.. 'Of-course I am not ready just as yet, but after attending church more maybe I will' Then the ten commandments got brought up, and one of them is 'no sex before marriage' and he said 'at the moment i am not ready for that, but maybe after attending church more I will be' This totally has thrown me back, because i am not religious at all myself, so the thought of him becoming 'holy' really does raise an issue for me. I do love him to bits, and I am happy he does have faith, but I am worried that this is going to be an issue. Perhaps I'm making it a bigger issue then it is, it's just a big change as before we could openly talk about why religion did not make sense to us. However now he has set in his mind that 'Jesus' is true. He invited me to go to church with him and me being open minded i said 'yes'. However further on in the discussion he said something to me which made me think. He said 'I hope you find your way' This totally got to me as I feel i am perfectly fine the way i am, and religious isn't a part of my life. He said that he doesn't want to change me and that if i end up believing in Jesus i do, and if i don't i don't. This still seems to be an issue with me though, the fact he said that to me. Also we have spoke about marriage, and he said he would not force religion on our children, however he would take them church and educate them about it. This still seems a bit of an issue to me, as i am not religious at all, therefore I don't know if i would want my children to attend church. I really don't want it to become an issue every-time we talk about religion, because i want him to feel comfortable in that he can talk to me about it. However i know my opinions are very strong and it can make him feel put off about talking about it to me. So i really don't know what to do. Also my dads side of the family are muslim and my mums side of the family Christian. I was raised with my dads side of the family, therefore raised as a muslim. I used to go to mosque everyday when i was younger, however as i grew older i realized i did not really believe in the religion myself. This is where i think my main confusion with religion has come from. One side eating pork, the other saying pork is bad. Also Because i am quite atheist/agnostic it can come across as i mock religion, because i have extreme doubts about it- But thats just me. Any advice on how i could react better? I don't want us to argue on it, but i just don't believe.

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  • Corey
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    "Then the ten commandments got brought up, and one of them is 'no sex before marriage' "

    Actually, it doesn't. The closest is "do not commit adultery", which isn't premarital sex. That's when a man has sex with another man's wife/concubine. It was about maintaining property rights over women.

    He's going to put his imaginary friend before his real life relationship with you. I don't know how you can be with someone who thinks you deserve to be tortured for eternity. I know some people are fine with it, but I couldn't do that myself.

    "and he said he would not force religion on our children, however he would take them church and educate them about it."

    Children take what their parents say on authority. Him taking your children to church and educating them about it would be forcing religion on them.

    "Also Because i am quite atheist/agnostic it can come across as i mock religion, because i have extreme doubts about it- But thats just me. Any advice on how i could react better?"

    Skepticism isn't just "extreme doubts". It's reasonable doubts. I don't think mocking ridiculous and atrocious claims is reacting poorly. I don't think firmly held beliefs deserve deference just because they involve thinking magic is real. Demands for religious deference are the best reason to speak frankly about religion.

    I wish I had more comforting advice, but I'm afraid your boyfriend has already made his choice. Maybe the second link will have information that can help you encourage him back towards skepticism and away from superstition and wishful thinking.

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  • 8 years ago

    Dump him. He's about to throw his life away on primitive superstition, and he'll drag you down with him if you let him. He's already chosen his invisible sky wizard over you, and you will always be second best to him.

    Cut him out of your life like the gangrenous appendage he has become, and go find someone who will enjoy being with you on your own terms.

    Sounds harsh? Maybe. But it'll save you a lot of hassle and heartbreak in the long run.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    In my opinion and throughout my experience, it will be harder when you guys get married because of religion. I don't know how to advice you on that.

    As for the issue of pork, well I don't eat meat. My husband does, but I don't. But we don't eat pork either because we believe that it is bad for us. We based our reasons on the bible and on both science and logic too.

    Deuteronomy 14 especially verse 8 says not to eat swine because it has cloven hooves. Logic and science tells me that it is unhealthy because Pigs are animals that eats anything. So when I read that, I know that I don't want to eat anything that would make me sick etc.

    All the very best in that.

    Source(s): The Bible
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  • G C
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    It is impossible to be an atheist with all the evidence of a Supreme Being in the perfection of nature and with the fact that the Bible has been validated by objective science as the only true religious writing, agnosticism is also out. Choosing to ignore all of this is where you stand. (It is shaky ground)

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  • Lv 4
    8 years ago

    This is way too long. And no one wants to read about relationship problems.

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  • 8 years ago

    Handle your boyfriend's beliefs or leave your boyfriend. How does this deserve a wall of text?

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  • spates
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    properly, discover out a thanks to do that is to do it gently. do not tell her you're non secular yet do not diss it without delay. confer with her and discover out why she believes and then steadily you are able to allow her recognize the folly of her questioning bit by technique of bit. reliable luck with her!

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    *sees wall of text and takes two points and leaves*

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  • 8 years ago

    Search more about ISLAM and you will find the answer that you seek for.

    For further contact: khaled-abed@live.com

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