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RHH: Can you rate my lyrics?

[[Hook]]

How do you feel

Like I’m flying

Above Mt. Zion

Feeling so fly I can sleep on the sky and

Never had this feeling before I started writing

No need for weed

I’m musically high and

I will be remembered like Boone and the Titans

Mom never saw her son picking up the mic and

Never saw my social getting this heightened

This is rap is my life man

Verse:

When I was little

Never had dreams of a career rhymes and riddles

I was dribbling with spit thinking my career was to dribble

Never thought I was getting big off what I would scribble

But then I got a little older

Reality check

I wasn’t the best hooper so which reality’s next

I started rapping for fun never knew it was the one

Actually when I would write

I thought everything was right

Now I look back and laugh

I thought that stuff would go up on the mic

But now I’m writing with a conscious mind

Constant lines run through

My head when I’m tryna go to bed

Wake up the next trying to remember everything that I said

Try to make it fit in to the uncompleted rhymes I had written

Never thought people would like what I was spitting

Have dreams of releasing classics like

Black on Both Sides and It Was Written

Feel like a super hero

Unlike Spider-Man this was God-Given

No need to be bitten

[[Hook]]

How do you feel

Like I’m flying

Above Mt. Zion

Feeling so fly I can sleep on the sky and

Never had this feeling before I started writing

No need for weed

I’m musically high and

I will be remembered like Boone and the Titans

Mom never saw her son picking up the mic and

Never saw my social getting this heightened

This is rap is my life man

Verse:

Vision of Martin Luther staring at me like Kendrick

Lyrics feeling exotic you can measure them on the metric

My teachers never liked me

They said I was too eccentric

Class gets boring

Automatically turn my attention to entertaining like Cedric

My momma says I need to fix that

Uncontrollable

Like P. Diddy getting cash

Stand my music next to yours

Turn yours to ash

The future gonna be great

Let me name the artists going to be having crowds going irate

Hunter coming with a full head of steam

Wyser’s just a Cali savage trying to fulfill his dream

With Flonominal and Jay Wright on his team

JoeJas from England

After he kills the mic he can have your ears tingling

There are more that are notable

But besides me those are the best

Trust me on that it’s quotable

It doesn’t make you a man by being unemotional

And running the streets

It’s making your kids think you’re approachable

And making sure they have food eat

[[Hook]]

How do you feel

Like I’m flying

Above Mt. Zion

Feeling so fly I can sleep on the sky and

Never had this feeling before I started writing

No need for weed

I’m musically high and

I will be remembered like Boone and the Titans

Mom never saw her son picking up the mic and

Never saw my social getting this heightened

This is rap is my life man

Update 2:

@Matthew Thanks I'm 14 trying to get better everyday and believe I am and comments like that mean a lot. When my mic comes in the mail too I have a lot of recording to do.

Update 3:

@Common Ice Cube Yeah I'm getting my mic soon and will record because this cheap mic sucks. I also have a 7:26 track coming ove a mix of 10 beats. I have a lot of stuff to record. And thanks on the compliments. I'm thinking this would be a good start for my mixtape.

Update 4:

@l.e.b. Thanks it means a whole lot. I might do a third verse. I came here expecting 7's and got a 9! Do you think it's a good mixtape opener?

Update 5:

@Teh Real JT don't say that cuz about a year ago I was writing some real wack stuff and was progressively getting better but these past few months my mind went on a rampage and I have become smarter and more mature.

Update 6:

@DE Thanks for the support. When I can record I will be on it!

Update 7:

@Rhyme Sayer Thanks for the feedback and telling me what to work on. I'll work to become better as I progress.

Update 8:

@Ed Thanks Man!

@Paradox Thanks and last year I was probably worse than you so don't give up!

Update 9:

@Angel True I can sue them because the lyrics were posted first with at least 26 witnesses

Update 10:

@Life I'm just not into the dark stuff and it sounded like it in my head but the way you delivered it changes my mind. I expected some Fort Minor voice all slow and stuff. So I was wrong it's a nice track. I just heard it differently in my mind. I wasn't bitter though. The voice and beat you had was real nice too. So my bad I just expected you to be different.

25 Answers

Relevance
  • ?
    Lv 5
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    That sh*t is wack.

    Lol joke, it's pretty good, I'd give it an 8/10. I'll have a better judgement when I actually hear you spit it but yeah it's good.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    yo man im not going to lie to you your a beginner and its not a 9 lmao. If im comparing you too Eminem, Nas etc you get a 0.5, as a beginner you would get a 7. If I was you learn hwo to write a rap song before you practice rhyming, hooks are usually 8 bars you wrote a 32 lmao. Once you know how to structure, practice rhyming, keep your syllables in check, practice breath control and flow, tone of voice etc and rhyming. Your subject matter for a beginner is a 8, well done for staying focused on a particular point.

    Edit: I gave you an honest answer as I was once in your position and let all the "9"'s and "9.5"s massage my ego as a rapper, later when reality struck and I expanded my knowledge of rap I realised I was wack compared to how I thought I was due to all the women and pop fans on YA telling me I can rhyme good. You on the other hand surprised me with your bitter edit on my question which you painted over pretending it was nothing more than you deciding to give me honesty when in fact the incosistancy and contradictions you presented in your analasis of my "rap" made it clear you was just out to "hate". Im going to break down everything you said to try dampen my spirit and tell you how its utter bull$hit. 1. "want to be Eminem too much" Sir I do not base myself around Eminem as unlike 99.9% of white wannabe rappers I actually know the business and work in it, I have not succumb to the mind control exposed to me as a white teenager fed the lies that Eminem is God and I must be like him, im an out the box individual so dont claim im trying to be like Eminem when I can pin point several factors in your rap which would have one believe you infact are too heavily influenced by him, believe me Ive seen it 1000 times its pretty easy. 2. "Random dark stuff that isnt true" Well the fact the song is titled "dark days" means ive succeeded in that area, but "random" I think you need to re-read, carefully. Its not random jibber jabber and the 7800+ viewers and 54 likes seem to agree. "isnt true" how do you know anything about me or what I say is true? or is Eminem the only white person with hardships? Its not like im saying anything out of the norm like I wipe my *** with newspaper and eat wood shavings. 3. "No substance" probably the biggest insult and biggest indicator you dont understand the meaning "substance" I had a clear message, a clear aura given off which you admitted was "dark" wordplay, punchlines, methaphors etc the lyrics give off vivid imagery which I have been told. Your example of rap was insulting and the prime piece of evidence as to why you have 0 knowledge of rap lyrics. Just like your serious rap ^^^ you had single syllable rhyme schemes with no creativity or message, I hope you freestyled it whilst typing otherwise its atrocious. 4 "And act as if every thing is hard around you like you live in some third world country. Where one mans piss is ACTUALLY another mans beverage" This proves you did not understand the meaning of the verse, im not speaking about poverty you fool, its not only 3rd world countries that are manipulated and brainwashed, where the gap between suited businessmen and crack addicts is huge, however the line was an exaggeration of that gap so you need to broaden your mind and understand, are you telling me in the USA or UK there are not people struggling to survive whereas other idiots are rich for being dumb? *cough* Heidi Klum.

    Im not going to hate on you for your response or your rap, your new and I would have reacted the same way 4 years ago. Read my rap again and listen ill post a link, look at the multisyllable rhyme schemes all the way through etc understand the art form better. Peace out and you might recognize verse number 2 haha

    h t t p : / / w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ? v = n z a X T U 4 K q z Q

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    F*ckin' sweet dude, this was nice. It flows really well the way I'm reading it. Sounds a lot like K. Dot tbh. I think you should add a third verse, but it's pretty great the way it is. I give it a 9/10

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    :o

    Thank you for this. You have graced my eyes with a truly incredible piece. You can only get better, but for now I'll say an 8.5/10. Mostly because I don't know your delivery and flow. You've definitely got the lyrics bro, keep up the good work.

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  • 8 years ago

    Not bad for a Y!A rapper... I see where you're coming from and you're overall at a good point as a writer. However it's not necessarily good. The rhyming is average. The hook is un-engaging. The content is nothing special. Vocabulary is below average. You're off to a good start however there's more to it that you're missing. Good work though.

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    9 out of 10 the 1 you need is rocord it

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  • 8 years ago

    Da fk?

    Dude that was sick,sounds like somthin shady would write and rap about. Im 13 and i rap a little but i will never be as good and devouted as you

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  • 8 years ago

    that was good, better than I expected, 8/10 now you just need to sound good on the mic...

    EDIT: Damn, this is the best and biggest response I've ever seen for someone posting their music (beats, lyrics or rap).

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  • 8 years ago

    Pretty good bruh, 8/10. I liked the Hook. You gonna record It???

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Holy shid, longest hook ever, but me gusta.

    You should rap this and upload it on the bandcamp.

    Message me if you need recommendations on good starting mic, or any mic that you want long term.

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