What is wrong with me? Please help?
Every single day I have these very bad morbid thoughts about killing people. I want to kill people like prostitutes, rapists etc... and I can't stop thinking about it. Sometimes, I think about killing people and I end up smiling or laughing. I would actually consider doing it if people pushed me further. The other day, I got a knife and stabbed my pillow repeatedly, as childish as that may sound. There have been times where I have kicked loads of holes in doors because of how angry I was. I remember this one time when I threw a knife at my sister because she called me a 'self harming *****'. I'm 15 and have suffered with depression since I was 13. I have been bullied a lot of times at school, if this helps. I just don't know what to do. Do you think I have a mental illness? If so, what mental illness would I have and how could I treat it? Each day these thoughts about killing people get stronger, so I need help.