What is the proper thing to do if you DON'T have a WEDDING?

My fiance and I have been together for 4 years and we are getting married in December. Most of our family members live out of state. We are going to go down to city hall to get married. We really don't find the need for a wedding. We love each other, everyone knows it and we are extremely happy and Blessed and share a wonderful life together. Seeing as how it would be difficult to get a good amount of our family members to fly down (especially in this economy) we were thinking about skipping our wedding and just having a honeymoon. What is the proper thing to do in this case? Would we send out announcements of our union instead of wedding invitations? We do plan to fly back home and have a nice dinner with our close family members after we're married but we really don't want to do any type of big event or even a small wedding. We have been living as a married couple for years now and I have never been into the idea of having a big wedding anyway. Any and all suggestions are appreciated. :)

Update:

It will just be him & I, and our parents at the actual ceremony when we are married. We'll go take some scenic photos in our beautiful city and then go out for dinner and drinks later that evening. I was going to have a reception but I just don't find the need for it.

12 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    The courthouse ceremony IS your wedding. A "wedding" is the act of two people getting married. The "wedding" is not the party that follows the ceremony, and you and your parents going out to dinner is not any less of a reception than a giant party with a band and flowers and cake. A “small wedding” is exactly what you’re planning.

    And you ARE having a reception since you’re taking your parents out to dinner … a “reception” is simply the act of receiving your guests after the ceremony to thank them for coming. It’s a “reception” whether it’s 100 people eating steak and listening to a DJ, 50 people eating barbecue while a CD player provides music, or six of you going to a restaurant after a courthouse ceremony.

    You ARE having a wedding. You're just choosing to have a very small wedding. And that's great! Enjoy yourselves.

    The proper procedure with a wedding is to feed your guests after the ceremony. If your guests will be your parents, and you plan to take them out to dinner, then you’re all set.

    You can certainly send out wedding announcements if you wish, but it’s not mandatory. If you want to do it, then write something like, “Jane Smith and John Jones were married in a private ceremony in Miami, Florida, on July 14, 2012. The couple will reside at 123 Main Street in Ft. Meyers.” That’s all you need to write (do NOT make any mention of gifts on the announcement ... don't provide a registry link, don't write "No Gifts Please" - write NOTHING about gifts). And maybe include a nice photo from your wedding day if you wish. If you receive any gifts as a result of this announcement, of course write them a thank you note right away.

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  • Liz
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    The proper thing to do, in your case, is to learn the meanings of words before using them. A wedding, by definition, is any ceremony that turns two single people into a legally married couple. Getting married at city hall therefore IS a wedding.

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  • LYDIA
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    You can just send out announcements to let people know you were married in a civil ceremony and that will be fine.I would personalize it a bit by including a nice photo of you two on your wedding day.

    If you use the words "small wedding " to describe your wedding ceremony some people may still feel hurt they weren't invited so I would say Civil Ceremony which will let people know it was in front of a judge.

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  • 8 years ago

    Yes what you mention is a common and proper acknowledgement of a wedding as you plan. An announcement is mailed on your wedding day to all your friends. It looks just like a regular wedding invitation except where it says ' requests with pleasure the honor of your presence' on an invitation it says on an announcement ' announces their wedding on December 15 2012. Have them all ready to be mailed exactly on the day you marry but be sure they are mailed right after the ceremony, lest there be a problem. Check with Cranes.com for stationery protocol or an etiquette book like Peggy Posts. Best wishes

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  • 5 years ago

    Wedding is a social work where has permission to stay with each other. I think it will be better if you send out wedding announcements when in trouble. You are going to take a wedding with small function and it is best. You can know too much about it by visit below the link.

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  • Blunt
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    Your idea is terrific and is perfectly appropriate.

    Yes, do send announcements after the fact to all and have a small family dinner after the city hall or honeymoon.

    Well done! Finally a bride with sense and manners on this site.

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  • Cara
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    What you want sounds lovely. Just you and your families, and a great honeymoon - no need for an extra party thrown in there. Just send announcements after you get back to let your extended family and friends know. If you want, you sould say something like, "We hope you'll join us when we celebrate 10 years in 2022!" Even that is totally optional, since huge parties don't sound like your scene.

    Congratulations and all the best!

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  • 8 years ago

    A wedding is the ceremony whereby two people are united in marriage. You ARE having a wedding.

    If you will not be inviting most of your family, but would like to share the good news, you send a marriage announcement by mail after the fact.

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  • 8 years ago

    Just send out marriage or wedding announcements when you get back. I don't see a need to describe the ceremony at all, but if you want to use a word for some reason, use "intimate" for the ceremony.

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  • 8 years ago

    Just send out wedding announcements after the fact. You're on the right track and I wish you best wishes on your marriage. You have no obligation to have a reception or anything, and I think you're being quite sensible.

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