What's step two for a gay teen?

I did it. I told someone that I'm gay, and it went great. For a while. I told her I was gay because she told me she was bi. Turns out she was lying. On top off that, the one person who I really want to know won't have anything to do with me. We were friends for years and now we never talk. This hurts me so much because she was one of the few people who would actually say she was my friend. I never really have maany true friends, and when I get one, I hold on for dear life. But now she's gone, leaving me in a pool of depression. Lastly, there's the biggest issue with my life. That's having to live with the fact that any guy I love, any guy who I truely want to spend my life with would never return my love, and would hide from me if he ever knew. This is the worst deppression a gay guy can have, and It keeps me up night after night. It has made me try to kill myself, only to let the knife drop from my throat to my bedroom floor. I'm at my last rope, and next time I feel it won't just be suicide attempt. It will be suicide.

People say telling someone will make you feel better. It left me without trust nor a true friend. People say you will always find love. Where will I find love in this hurricane I call life? Where the winds of my secret rip at my body and the waters of my shame flood over me, eroding me like a stone until I am but sand on the beach of life. people even have the audacity to say it will get better. How? How Will It get Better? HOW WILL ANY OF THIS GETT ANY BETTER!?!?! I'M THIRTEEN AND I CARRY A FRIKING SUICIDE NOTE AROUND IN MY WALLET!!! TELL ME HOW IT WILL SUDDENLY TURN SUNSHINE AND LOLIPOPS FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME!!!!! Someone who walks their path shouldering such a burden as mine has a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, so tell me what it looks like from me outside. Tell me how I can make suicide seem like a BAD idea, instead of a good one. If I don't choose a favorite answer, just know that it was too late for me to turn back. Please just help me pull out of this spiraling fall.

11 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    It will get better, trust me. I was there, I was like you once. Going through a lot of depression and denial and hate. You can't just give up. Listen, don't do anything stupid. Because we don't have people it will get better for nothing, because it will. For all of us, worse turns into better. I can understand that there are a lot of jerks in the gay community, I know but you are also thirteen, and whether you were straight or gay, people wouldn't take you seriously. That is the honest truth. You're focusing too much on the bad and not on the good.

    I really want you to realize what I am saying. I have gone through serious depression in life and bullied for being different. Because at twelve thirteen people would ask why I never talked about girls or had a girlfriend, but that is the past. And kids, are so mean. Everyone gets bullied.

    I think that school is the worse thing that this society has put on us, but we learn from it.

    Imagine the future, think about it. I know there will be a lot of bumps, but sweetheart, you can do it. The fact that you posted this tells me that you are strong, and I know you're fighting it inside and trust me, it is not a choice sometimes. But you can fight it, there are so many people that care about you, I know it but you don't notice it. And that girl was never a real friend. There are NO real friends in this world. I have been backstabbed and hurted by so many friends. Even with depression and crazy antidepressants and I did it hard to go through it and there were times where I couldn't even get up from bed. I would stay there ALL day in a room with the windows shut.

    But now, I am better and happy and appreciate life. Because believe it or not, life is too precious to let go of it. And you'll have real friends. You're thirteen. You're probably in middle school. Middle school sucks so bad. 7th grade was the worst for me. I understand. I do.

    If you need someone to talk to, just msg me and I'll even give you my number if you need someone to talk to.

    I hope you read this through and understand,

    Stay well.

    Source(s): Gay teen
  • KiH
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    Being sand isn't so bad. And people say it will get better because it will. that's how the world works. It treats you like **** some times, but randomly something good will happen. Suicide is a bad idea because you don't know what will happen after you die. you could just be there, unable to move or talk but still conscious for an eternity of boredom. Why do that when you can live a life first? Move on. I know it seems hard, but you will soon realize this guy isn't all that great and that there's a better one that may actually like you back around the corner. YOU ARE ONLY THIRTEEN! EVERYTHING seems bad when you're thirteen, but as you grow up, things wiil get better, then worse, then better again. This will keep happening, but you have to realize that as long as you keep trying when you can't anymore, keep believing when there is no hope left, that something good will come. You can't get any worse than rock bottom.

  • 8 years ago

    There's no point in taking your life. There's so much potential for you! I mean c'mon. I couldn't keep my eyes off your question when I started reading, then you're description of the hurricane life? It was beautiful, you're a fantastic writer.

    Please don't take your life though! I'm begging you. I'm a girl, and I'm straight and most of the time I feel like I have no real friends, that no-one will love me. Those feelings of severe depression aren't just for 'gays'. If it's eating you up inside get help. Talk to your doctor and they can see if you have depression, provide you with someone to talk to, medication that will help you get back on your feet. If you don't like that idea, just call kids helpline. Talk to them for a bit. Tell them what's going on.

    You need to realise that if you want to enjoy being gay, being who you are, you need to make it through high school. Yea, it's a *****, but what's beyond is soo much better.

    Just don't commit suicide.

    Don't hesitate in emailing me if you want victoria_allen1@yahoo.com xx

  • Jacob
    Lv 6
    8 years ago

    I've been there and your life is just beginning remember that always. I've lost friends because I came out and honestly, if I would of never came out I would of never experienced the things that shape my world today. If I never came out I would of came out to be psycho still in the closet. Thirteen huh? So your about to enter high school? High school will change you inside out for the good if you make it good. Live your life and if people don't like you then they're a waste of time. The friends in high school you meet will do crazy **** with you thats for sure. Just remember you're young, make it fun.

    Being gay means you do what YOU want to do, don't let ANYONE GET YOU DOWN.

    If you need someone to talk to you can go to my profile and email me.

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  • GQ
    Lv 6
    8 years ago

    I know it sucks trust me I know. I dreamed of suicide for ten years of my life. At 13 I had no friends and rejecting my self and my sexuality. I see your selfesteem is low. Try finding some hobbies or sports to get into. also go to your lgbt community center or your schools gay straight alliance. It does get better. people around you will age and mature and release that things like sexuality shouldn't affect ones friendship. I know the tunnel is dark right now but there is a light at the end of it. If things get to.heavy please call a suicide hotline.

  • 8 years ago

    Suicide a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I would highly suggest becoming a flamboyant homosexual. Embrace it. Make some new girl friends that will be there for you, girls are way more understanding than boys. Oh, and girls like to shop. Do not kill yourself. You are 13 and have your whole life ahead of you. I would suggest seeing a doctor about your depression.

  • Ben
    Lv 5
    8 years ago

    Well Nate, I just want to tell you that it is never rainbows and lollipops for us. Life is tough, but you cannot give up hope. There is a lot of things that you will learn as you grow up. The friend who ditched you,, she doesn't deserve your friendship. Changes will happen in your life, but you can't harm yourself like that. I have felt the same things you have, and have struggled through those feelings to find my peace. So have millions other gay men and women. But you gotta keep fighting.

    Source(s): Just promise me not to harm yourself. Next time you feel like you can't fight the depression, email me at nkwacky@gmail.com , please don't hurt yourself.
  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Boy i have had 6 guys come out to me. (most of who i liked but meh it happens) and really. It will get better. Dont choose a permanant solution to a temporary solution! If you dont have anyone to talk to i sure as hell am here "rcamerican@yahoo.com" . I duno when someone says they want to choose suecide i feel like i just wanna give you my phone to show you youre not alone! My friend micks has two dad who love him to death have been married. Have two awesome kids and everything!

  • 8 years ago

    I get you're depressed. You're not alone. There are plenty of homosexuals out there. But You're only 13. You'll find Mr. Right. But for not just focus on education and your future.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Take pride in yourself.

    No one will give it to you freely. You must take it.

    Love yourself and teach the rest of us how to love you.

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