If you go by deeds rather than words, the parties both look a lot different. The Republicans promise tax cuts for all and lower spending and a balanced budget. But they actually deliver the opposite--tax cuts for the rich only, spending like there's no tomorrow, and trillion-dollar deficits.
The fact is, an elected politician's power comes from federal spending. Traditionally Americans preferred a Republican president to keep spending under control and a Democratic congressman to bring lots of federal money back to their own district.
Also both parties use spending to stimulate the economy. It's just too easy for any president to spend money we don't have, and then take credit for stimulating the economy. He knows when the bill comes due he'll be safely out of office and it will be some new president's headache.
The whole cut spending/cut taxes idea came from Ronald Reagan himself. Once in office he tripled the entire pre-existing national debt. And well into his second term he was still cheerfully predicting the economy would be stimulated to raise revenues enough to pay for the tax breaks. The economy did get a little healthier, but not enough to pay the interest on the new debt.
And yes, red states get more than their share of unemployment, welfare, Medicaid, disability, you name it. While they preach to us and try to convince us illegal aliens get welfare and free health care.