Plz help me ik it is long but plz?

ok first i know i have trust issues. long story. but i act like im scared of people like i wont talk to them. for example in wendys today i had to go ask for something and i like freak out. and in walmart if im in one of those counters which has like 4 really close. well if walmarts full i have to be by people and... show more ok first i know i have trust issues. long story. but i act like im scared of people like i wont talk to them. for example in wendys today i had to go ask for something and i like freak out. and in walmart if im in one of those counters which has like 4 really close. well if walmarts full i have to be by people and i freak out. my aunt got cancer and died 2 years ago. that is when it first started. ive thought of cutting before but can never really bring myself to do it. the closet i had come was whenb i tried to cut my self with tweezers. but i couldnt break the skin. i know i have trust issues because i fill like my aunt promised me thing i could never get. and i just feel like everything happens to me. i was born to almost no family because most of them died before i was born . so 1st my 18 year old cousin dioes in a boat crash. then my aunt dided of cancer. then 2 months later my grandma died . then just recently we found out my godmother has cancer. and sometimes i feel like i cant really love someone a lot because they would end up dying. my aunts death hit me the most especially because it happened the day before mardi gras. (she died in august 2010 we found out feburary 2010) me and her OMG are liek crazy with mardi gras and she said shes not going to the hospital becaus eshe promised me she would take me. that is where the trust issues come from. im not mad at her for nhot taking me im mad because i dont know why this had to happen. my mom doesnt understand and i dont like people so counslers wont be good. so i come to yall for help. :) im 13 btw if that helps any. sooooo i guess my question is how do i stop being like this with people. i hate going places because of it i have fights with my mom because i beg her not to take me to school. just plz help me
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