Is it possible to compromise without ruining my relationship, and is commuting from Bmore to Philly possible?

This is a two part question. One is a relationship oriented question and the other is a question about relocating/commuting. I just got accepted to grad school in Philly, and my fiancé just got a HUGE promotion and raise at work. We live in Baltimore, and that's where his job is. We were planning on moving to Philly before he got a raise, which is why I think they gave him the promotion because he's such a valued worker that they don't want to lose him. I've been living in Baltimore for seven years, 3 years before he got here. I really hate this city. The whole atmosphere and vibe of the city depresses me. I'm much more fond of DC and Philly, and so is he. He doesnt really like it here either. Me being an artist (I'm an actor and writer), I have always wanted to live in NYC, but we both agreed that NYC was a bit too expensive for us right now. So, we decided to stay on the East Coast (close to NYC) go to DC. That didn't work out when we found out that DC was almost as expensive as NYC. So, we decided to set our sights on Philly. I spent MONTHS planning for a move to Philly, I applied to graduate school there and got accepted. That's when his job offers him this promotion, with a HUGE almost unbelievable raise. I have the option to go to school online, but I'd much rather BE there. Plus, I really just want to move. Because I (and so does he) want to move, we can focus on DC again, because DC is much closer to Baltimore than it is to Philly. DC is still expensive though, and even though he's making more money now it still doesn't seem like it makes sense to LIVE in the more expensive place and work in the least expensive place. I really just want to move to Philly, and I'm thinking about going without him. I'm not used to not being able to get up and go when it's time for me to. I feel restricted and held back. Is there a compromise somewhere that I'm not seeing? I've tried to compromise. I've changed my location around to fit both of our needs and I keep getting yanked around. I told him that I was an actor/writer and I would be pursuing my dreams and I would not be living my life here in this city. What should I do? I don't want to leave him, or live away from him but this city and this whole relocation process is driving me insane. Is the commute between Baltimore and Philly reasonable enough to do by car on a daily basis? Is there an area between the two cities that is reasonable for us both?

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  • Janko
    Lv 6
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Doing rush hour on I-95 in a blizzard? Does that sound like fun to you?

    How many days a week would you need to be in Phila.? How early in the day would you have to be there?

    How often do you actually take advantage of the cultural opportunities DC or Baltimore have on offer?

    Newark, DE, is the last stop on a SEPTA commuter line and an Amtrack stop to Baltimore. You didn't say what school, but there's a fairly new University City stop near Penn and Drexel, or you can transfer to get to Temple or the New School in Center City. In general, unless there's a transit strike, SEPTA trains are usually more on time than Amtrack.

    Then again, I can't imagine that if you want the feel of urban life that someplace in Delaware is going to thrill you. Rents in Center City Phila. or nearby areas like Queen's Village and other gentrified areas are not going to be that much cheaper than some apartment in DC where they've thrown in a granite countertop and a stainless fridge and charge a fortune. If you could switch your metaphor to "home as refuge" then somewhere in Delaware wouldn't be all that bad.

    Realistically, of course, if you want acting jobs there are really only two places to be: NYC or LA. Writers can live anywhere, depending.

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