Fellow seniors. Is the rumour true?
I have heard vague rumours that the Olympic games might be actually being held here in jolly old Blighty in a month's time.
Can it possibly be true?
And if so, what can we do to stop it folks?
After the French Open, then Euro 2012, then Wimbledon, are we really going to be spoiled with another two weeks of grunting and sweating and gasping and leaping and hopping and farting and running and flinging and hurling and riding round in circles and jumping into swimming pools and horses walking sideways.
I reckon we'll be about due for a long boring snooker tournament next, followed by a long and excrutiatingly boring golf championship.
Then the footie season starts again.
I think I'll get drunk tonight, and stay that way.
Until about December.
I will have lost my sanity by then and become a gibbering, drooling, raving loon.
Time for my little yellow pills now.