What is your opinion on my plot?
A girl named Aspen sits with her family in her living room, waiting to hear the "official" news that a zombie apocalypsehas begun. They hear the news, and get in a Hummer with four family friends and drive to the airport. Once they get there, Aspen tries to board a plane, but is distracted by someone calling her name. She realizes its her old friend from her class, and, before anyone can stop her, she goes towards it. She tries to reach him, but before she can, he's shoved into a a plane and the plane leaves. She realizes that she made a mistake and tries to get back to her plane, but they pull her distraught mother in and take off.
Aspen realizes she is alone, and there is an oncoming horde of zombies approaching her. Suddenly, someone grabs her by her backpack and pulls her into the airport. It's an airport security guard Roger. She and Roger camp out in the airport bathrrom for three days, but soon run out of food. On their expedition to get some, Roger gets caights and throws Aspen a bag containing another pistol a box of ammo and a letter. Aspen barely escapes with her life.
She lifes in the woods, eating wild plants and sleeping in caves, until she meets two truckers in their sixties: Bob and Marilyn. Marilyn convinces Bob to let Aspen come, and they soon become close, Bob teaching Aspen to shoot from a moving vehicle.
But soon, Aspen realizes she is too much of a burden on Bob and Marilyn and leaves. Bob and Marilyn got her all the way to Tennessee. She has family in Mississippi and treks down to a town called Greenwood, and stays in her dad's girlfriend's house, which is now empty. She spends her days trying to make contact with any survivors. With so much time on her hands, she practices shooting, trying to get more accurate.
One night, while trying to make contact, she hear's a doorbell ring. She walks over and opens it, only to see six of her former classmates, all passed out on her doorstep. She brings them in and takes care of them for a while. They rebond, and start spending time together. She becomes close with the boys (Konnor, Hutson, Riley, Devin, Enso, and Kevin.) One night, Konnor (the one who got on the plane) tells Aspen that the planes crashed due to lack of fuel. Everyone died except for them. He also tells her that he got her message and thats how they got there. Riley tells them that there is a safe camp in San Francisco and that they should go. They all unanimously decide to go to the safe camp and leave that night.
Tension builds on the trip, and one day, while they are surrounded by zombies, Riley gets bitten. As soon as Konnor sees it, he swings around and cuts Riley's arm clean off, then runs out into the woods, with Hutson following. Aspen helps Riley, but doesn't tell him that he was bitten and that's why Konnor cut his arm off. Eventually, Riley starts falling for Aspen, which creates even more tension. All of the group experiences a little depression when enso is bitten and one of them must shoot him in the head. Even so, they continue on to San Francisco.
That's all I have so far. What do you think? Thoughts opinions? Thanks in advance!!!!
- Anonymous9 years agoFavorite Answer
Hi! You'll always get a honest review from me... so here I go :). I am a fan of zombie apocalypse movies and books... you can say I've read them all. Your story line seems quiet interesting, I got trapped by it at the plane part and kept reading wanting to know what happened to this girl without stopping until I got to the doorbell part... but not because it was bad or anything like that... but because there's a not so believable element. The reason for this is that if I were on a zombie apocalypse I wouldn't be ringing doorbells and I certainly wouldn't open a door If I ever got to hear one... now... six people from a same group seems also not so believable for me... usually at this part of the zombie evolution the groups are rather small or if they are big they are just parts from former groups. Now you know that in a book it's all about details and how they manage to capture you about the bonds and the personality you create and establish for each character so as I haven't read it yet I can't give you an objective opinion about those details but let me tell you one thing... Your main character surely seems like a good heroin to develop. And the relationship part... need to be taken carefully and not with a rush so people can actually feel the love between this two and why they need each other... they must need each other in one way or another in order to get the audience appreciation and devotion. :) hope I helped =) keep writing and let me know once you release it I would like to read it.
- Gabi ng LagimLv 79 years ago
How fortuitous that the six classmates show up all at once at this girl's doorstep. The mention of the message explaining their arrival is only brought up after the fact and weakens the plot. Just a mere mention of the message before their arrival would have been believable, but not now.
- ?Lv 44 years ago
The nerd falls for the cheerleader The social outcast falls for the quarterback. Love triangles (despite the fact that I'm responsible of penning this as a assisting side of my tale. But I do attempt to make it non everyday)
- 9 years ago
Pretty nice but now that i read this I'm going to have a hard time coming up with my own zombie plot XD
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- ArabellaLv 79 years ago
No offence but that sounds like virtually every zombie film I've ever seen - cliche on top of cliche.