Should I stay at my university?

So I go to a university in CA. I have been in the same city my whole life. I have a problem though. my university was not my dream school. I wanted to go to school out of state, on the opposite side of the united states. I went to my university instead because my whole life is there. I am not very happy there because I have not been adjusting well at all. I always feel like there are people looking over my shoulder and I have to please everyone at my school and church. Everyone wants me to come to church every week and it is hard trying to do everything. On top of that I have 6 siblings.I am the second oldest but my oldest sister never really stayed with us so I kind of felt that it was my responsibility to take care of all of them. the three youngest siblings have a different mother. My dad used to be very mean with me and my sister that's a year under me until my aunt intervened. So all of us are kind of scared off my dad even though he is no longer as bad as he used to be. I feel like since I'm the oldest and he gets really mad I have to be there to keep him in check and they never really get to go out the house unless me or my younger sister are at the house. I feel I can't leave them there alone cuz their mom looks up to me to protect them. I want to do so much in my life but I feel restricted and I don't like the idea of just dropping everything and leaving. Also, I really never liked the city where I'm from because it is just way too busy. (I live 15 minutes from campus and sometimes traffic will make 15 minutes turn into 1 1/2 hours) What do you think?

Also, my biggest concern is financially. my university is a private school and I currently support myself. I worked my behind off to just get by this year so I appealed for independent status and I got it. So in the eyes of my university and the FAFSA people I have independent status, but I am scared they may take my independent status away because I am under 23 and I am a special circumstance. So what do you guys say about that?

I am also scared that I will not like the new university because the minority is kind of small. I have only researched the school and looked at info about it. I have never been to the new state though so I don't know more than what the internet tells me. I am scared to the point that I should also look into other schools if I choose to transfer?

I just have so many concerns and I need input from others. Please help and serious answers please.

2 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Leaving your entire life to go to the other side of the united states for your "dream school" may not be the wisest decision. I understand that you feel like your current life is holding you back from everything that you want to do and everything that you could do.

    However, traveling across the US will not be cheap, and you will still probably have to pay for the school you are going to go to. Plus, after reading about your home life, it may not be a good idea to be so far away from home and your family.

    The thing is just because you think it's your dream school doesn't mean that it actually will be. You haven't actually gone to that school yet, so how do you really know it's what you want? What if you go all the way to your new school to discover that it isn't all that you thought it would be? and then you are so far away from home that you just have to tough it out.

    I don't mean to crush your dreams, but this has happened to a lot of people I know. They go really far away for their "dream school" and it ends up being not what they wanted and too far away from home....and then they end up transferring to a school back home and they wasted a lot of money in the process.

    It's understandable that you want to live in a different city and get away for a bit, but you don't have to go across the country to "get away" if you know what I mean. Once you're gone, you're gone. Whether it's your own apartment 20 minutes from where you live or your own apartment 1000 miles from where you live...once you leave it doesn't make a difference how far you are.

    Try looking for schools that are close enough to home that you can be there if you have to, but far enough that it feels like you've gotten away. Once you're living on campus, you'll be in your new home and away from home no matter how far that distance actually is.

    good luck with everything!

  • ignatz
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    You say you have independent status which generally means you are under 18. You also say you support yourself so you have a job that pays enough or you have some other financial source which apparently is good if you are at a private college and want to leave for the east coast area.

    As for funds go to a state school as they are cheaper. Go to one in Calif far enough away to be independent but still close enough to check on things at home.

    You're in calif in a big city (sounds like LA or SF area) so go to a state school not in the big city area, they are out there, a good one is Humboldt State in Arcata, CA about 300 miles north of SF.

    I don't know if your father is really a bad guy or not if so can you ask child services to look into the situation as far as your sibs are concerned? If not you have to make a choice - stay or go.

    If he is just loud and wants his way, etc go if really bad find some help then go.

    Quit being afraid to live as changes often help you grow. Besides if you don't like it there you can always leave again. It's an easy thing to do when your younger.

    If you are really having personal concerns talk with someone you can trust, school counselor, etc.

    Good luck.

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