What do you think of my poem, little girl? How can I improve?

Little Girl

Water over head. Fingernails digging into skin,

dragged underneath by the ankles.

Pupils poisoned by chlorine suds,

ripples reflecting light from the sky above.

Kitty kat scratch marks across your face,

criss crossed blood clots.

Darkness disguises your pretty brown curls

accentuating your vulnerability,

giving him a free pass to take advantage.

Strong trunks holding her up,

a secret playground giving her a platform to the night sky.

From tall branches she swings, grabbing onto flaming comets and shooting stars,

taking a temporary ride into another galaxy.

Entering a world where gender is no longer a factor,

and love mingles with the oxygen we need to stay alive.

1 Answer

Relevance
  • Mary
    Lv 4
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I envy you, i really envy you! I've always wanted to be a good writer, but I'm just not good with words.

    anyway, simply amazing! keep up the good work!

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