Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 9 years ago

What do you think of this poem. (I wrote it myself)?

Natural Peace

Superior force of nature

Takes the lead on the substance of life

Beauty and wonders roam the hidden mystery

that Supplies free life

For granted is taken

The richness known as nature

And natural it remain

Heat felt and water provided

Cold Indeed, but warmness shall come

But fear no, for my rays will not kill

Worry not, Fruits I shall provide

Fall you will not, for my natural path

Is there to provide support

I shall provide and you shall receive

Costs there is not

But oh please, do not kill me

For peace is my only wish

Let me know you thoughts and how to improve

1 Answer

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    What is "free life"? Your last two lines are not in keeping with what came before. Perhaps a transition is needed.

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