what are some funny one liners?

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT BUT TIME AND TIDE WAIT FOR NONE

    THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD BUT ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

    WISE MEN THINK ALIKE BUT FOOLS SELDOM DIFFER

    THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE BUT THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH

    SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE BUT TIME WAITS FOR NONE

    LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP BUT STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT

    DO IT WELL, OR NOT AT ALL BUT HALF A LOAF IS BETTER THAN NONE

    BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER BUT OPPOSITES ATTRACT

    DON’T CROSS YOUR BRIDGES BEFORE YOU COME TO THEM BUT FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED

    DOUBT IS THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM BUT FAITH WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS

    GREAT STARTS MAKE GREAT FINISHES BUT IT ISN’T OVER TILL IT’S OVER

    PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT BUT ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY

    SILENCE IS GOLDEN BUT THE SQUEAKY WHEEL GETS THE GREASE

    YOU’RE NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN BUT YOU CAN’T TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS

    WHAT’S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE IS GOOD FOR THE GANDER BUT ONE MAN’S MEAT IS ANOTHER MAN’S POISON

    ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER BUT OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND

  • Adios
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    I once had a boss who didn't like me at first since he really missed his former secretary who moved out of state. In fact, one day he called me a "smart ***" -- with my quick wit, I answered him back

    with a great one-liner (that even surprised me for being such a funny one). And that one-liner response was,

    "Gee, thanks boss - It sure is terrific to have brains at both ends!!"

    He stared at me for a few LONG seconds and then began laughing hysterically!! From that moment on everything was great !!

  • 9 years ago

    As they say in Texas, time to make like horse shіt and hit the trail.

    Meanwhile, back at the ranch... Tonto, disguised as a pool table, gets his balls racked up.

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  • 9 years ago

    That's what she said

    your mom

    sex: It was pointless, but it was fun

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