DaLLIN asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 9 years ago

what do you think of my poem?

It's kinda dark, and I am the author.

You have cursed me til the end of time

Tho I know the fault is mine

I glimpse the sun from far away

While inside my head I do decay

Because I put my faith in you

I bid my life farewell, Adieu

What is life without a vision

You've gouged my dreams before they've risen

Tomorrow once was full and bright

Now it's gone from day to night

One careless act won't go unnoticed

I'll bear the scars of a lust filled motive

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Finally, a good poem!! I just read like 10 on here and they were all crap. This one is really good, I love the ending.

  • 9 years ago

    I really like it! But, sometimes in poetry, it'd good to not put words like "while" and "because" before the sentence. It just makes it more mysterious..

    Source(s): I'm a poet.
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Very good

  • 9 years ago

    I love your choice of vocabulary. It's better than mine will ever be :P

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    awesome.

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