Should i even try to get into another relationship?
I screwed up with the last girl i dated. Her mom had strict rules that she wasn't allowed to see her boyfriend (me) without her friends being their (her friends didn't like me) so we didn't see each other besides in class. I accepted this and I loved her so I'd keep the relationship going. The first four months were great nothing went wrong and we were both happy. The fifth month we started fighting because i was getting upset that i couldn't see her and she was adamant that she wanted her first kiss not to happen at school (the only time we see each other ). I kept starting fights with her over absolutely nothing (at one point i started a fight with her saying she didn't think i was beautiful) I started pressuring her into having sex with me even though i knew she wouldn't (we hadn't even had our first kiss yet) and it just got to the point that anything she said she wouldn't do or give to me is what i wanted more than anything in the world. She told me she had depression and i laid off for a bit because i felt like a douche bag but eventually nothing felt any different so i kept on doing what i was doing before. she told me i made her cry all the time and i felt like **** so i promised her id change but a week or two later id go back to being an ***. this happened about four times and she said she'd had enough and that ever since she started dating me her depression got worse her grades dropped and shes felt like the worst person in the world because she upset me all the time. She said she couldn't handle dealing with all my **** anymore and broke up with me. I always thought that if i had a girlfriend id be the best boyfriend in the world because id respect her boundaries and make her feel special but when i got a girlfriend i did the exact opposite of that and i hate myself so much for everything i put her through and i never want to hurt someone like that again but i don't even trust myself after the way i hurt her so i'm asking for your guy's opinions
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
RULE No. 1: NEVER mess with a girls boundaries. They should teach all boys at school this one. It can seriously screw a girl up. I know because I've been there and it hurt so much. All girls are pressured into sex. But the guys who do it are scum. It probably the lowest thing a guy can do.
That said, sounds like you had good intentions, maybe you got aggressive, maybe it was your hormones or the fact that you couldn't even kiss her. Either way, that was not love. That was a mess. Next time you recognize that kind of mess in a relationship, be a man and tell the girl: it's not working out. Tell her why. It's OK. Girls do it all the time, just be direct.
We all learn from our mistakes and move on to better relationships. But I think you should find an outlet for your anger. And give it a lot of time so that the scars from this relationship have mended and the issues don't carry on into the new relationship.
Other than that. When you think abut this girl, after many many months. And without ANY intention of getting back with her, I think you should tell her what a jerk you were, tell her you and sorry and tell her how special she was. This will not only help her recover and feel better and give her a better chance in life and the chance to kick the depression and low self esteem, it will also help you forgive yourself which is equally important.
Anyway hope all goes well. Give it time.
- 9 years ago
thanks for answwring mine.
you just have to learn from ur last relationship. dont mess with a girls boundaries and dont be controlling. if you see things are going wrong with her because og you then give her some space.