Should I continue to see this guy? Bisexual help?
So I just finished my sophomore year in high school, and this other guy I know from playing in pit band for the musicals (I'm always on stage for the musicals) told me that he had a crush on me (he's gay and came out a few months ago). I told him I didn't feel the same way and that I was straight, like pretty much everyone thinks. I'll admit though, I'm really attracted to him, he's extremely adorkable. I texted him later saying I was lying to him and am bicurious, which I really am and that I wasn't ready to tell anyone. He replied saying he totally understands how I feel, because at the end of his sophomore year he was the only one who knew he was gay. I went to graduation and talked to him after and hugged and congratulated him. He told me that he was going to NY on Sunday but we should hangout when he gets back in a week (this was on Friday). The next day a group of people including myself, went over to his twin brother and his house for like a graduation party. People went out on a hike to go out and drink, but the two of us stayed on this bench on the trail. He told me he didn't want to rush me into anything. He slowly inched his hand closer to mine and we held hands. I felt really nice. I told him that I wanted to kiss him but I was so nervous and freaking out, and before I knew it he leaned in and already started kissing me. I felt so right and amazing. We then started to feel on each other while making out, that included chest, butt, and penis bulges. We heard the group coming back so we stopped, he respected that I wasn't out yet. We went back to the house and everyone left again to drink more. We stayed again, but things got more heated. We both felt each other's *****, and stuck our hands in the others pants, We climbed on top of each other and made out pantless, and eventually sucked each other. When this was over, he gave me a goodnight kiss and we went to bed before anyone came back and knew anything. Before I went home in the morning, he came up to my car when nobody was around and said, "One more," and kissed me again. I think he really likes me. The next day before while he was at the airport, he called me and said he would really like to hangout again. He was also disappointed when I told him I couldn't go to SF Pride with him on Sunday (this wouldn't give away my true sexuality, as EVERYONE in the Bay Area goes to Pride). What do you guys think? I'm really confused in life right now. Should I continue to see this guy I actually really like and have a lot in common in? Any extra adice or thoughts? I'm also worried if we get to close I'll be emotional when he leaves for Harvard in the fall. Anything, I just need to know opinions as this was my first experience with a guy ever. Thanks :)
- 8 years agoFavorite Answer
Wow! What an interesting story. I definitely think you should keep on seeing him; (I mean YOLO. Don't stop reading here, I had to) he seems like a really nice guy. However, one of the biggest hurdles in your situation is that you're not out yet, which obviously complicates things. I understand that you're not out yet, but what happens when: X wants to hang out or go to the beach with you? He wants you to have dinner—at his house? He wants to introduce you to his friends? You're not comfortable with yourself yet, which does take time. You didn't specify if your parents think it's wrong or you do. So, that would've helped to know. Obviously not much because you're not out, so it limits the potential relationship. I'm not telling you how to live your life, only giving my advice.
But at the same time, you want a relationship with him, right? Not just sex and clandestine meetings, correct? I wouldn't have had oral sex with him, despite how well I knew him, just because you never now if people (even the ones you love) can be honest with you. Because he's going to Harvard—clearly I very smart guy—there's that question: Do you want to stay in touch with him while he's there? You could Skype with him to see him face to face, but going back to what I said earlier, you'd have to hide it from your parents and even friends. And being in this situation leaves you stuck, because as of right now, you're asking anybody willing to give advice; me, a mere stranger to you. It helps if you have someone who knows you better to talk to. Anyway, do you see a long-distance relationship working out between you two? From what I've read, it looks like you live in Cali, Harvard's far away, much closer to where I live—which is still about 5ish hours away.
You should take every chance you have to spend time with him as you can, especially if you guys really have a connection. Unfortunately enough for you, you'll probably become emotional when he leaves, which isn't bad at all. What if your best friend left you to go to college at Duke or Dartmouth? You'd be emotional. And sometimes distance makes us more resilient, durable, patient.
As for your identity, it sounds like you're gay. And I don't like to label, but you said it, "felt so right and amazing." Human sexuality is fluid, but when I came out, I said I was bi to appease my parents and those around me. It's a common gay front—no sting intended. I'm out and going into my Junior year too (and also an athlete) and it's not as hard as one would think esp. around where I Iive. I live in a small town and lived in a city with 7 million people before where I was whistled at in the street every day and asked to go on dates. I'm not trying to make you feel bad for me, I'm just juxtaposing the two environments. You're lucky, I'm out but there are so many people I know that aren't and I know they are. I can just tell from a look, I don't know if you know what I'm talking about, that severe eye contact that holds for 5 seconds between you and the other person. You simply have more opportunities for a relationship. And being out is so much easier and less stressful. One day, if you ever do come out, you'll look back and ask yourself why you didn't sooner, you may laugh and cry at the same time. Sometimes people can really surprise you. Guys especially, I don't have any gay male friends—they're all straight and grateful for our friendship. Interestingly enough, I gained more friends than I lost in terms of both males and females. And the people that you think may have the biggest problem with it, sometimes don't. The friends that you thought wouldn't leave you do, and you wonder why, but they really weren't friends. I'm sure this situation has crossed your mind before.
Hopefully my advice helped and I didn't go off on a tangent. Best of wishes!Source(s): University of Life.
- Anonymous4 years ago
If you are having fun with it, go ahead. But in no way fall into their emotional trap. Do it as a enjoyable and get out. If they provide you with any gifts, just take it and revel in. When he does to you otherwise you do to him, better watch out about hygiene. Do not forget **** at all times give ailments.