Guys help.....please! How should I react?
Ok I dated this guy for two months, not long I know, but he was super amazing charming and perfect and I fell hard, then he had some family pressures, a death in the family also, and I got pushy for time, so he broke up with me, over text! Saying that he does not see a future here
Few weeks later, I said hi as we do a common weekend class (we are 31 btw) and he responded eagerly, coming over, making out, taking me out etc, and things were coming back to normal
I had not spoken abt what happ yet, and before I could, he backed off and became distant and friendly, chatting occasionally, and then telling me he's out with some girl for dinner that his parents set him up with, to get married to!
I was heartbroken, asked him to talk abt this but no response, so I wrote him an e-mail saying how hurt I am about this treatment and very disappointed all in all (he put up his profile pic with this gir!l)
Today he called me, I told him I was in the middle of something and we hung up, why is he calling me now? I'm not sure how to respond now, should I just ignore him or call back? If he calls back again and wants to talk about what happened, what should I do?? I feel conflicted, I still miss him but hate the way it ended too and he's clearly moved on, so what does he want?
I still have the class, two more months, decided I'm not quitting it just because of him, I mostly ignore him and talk if he talks to me, but it hurts a lot and I'm not over him yet. The thing is, I don't hate him and keep struggling to think if he wants to be friends, maybe I should? Just not sure I'm upto it because of my feelings and the hurt over how he chose to end it and move on....
- 8 years agoFavorite Answer
Even if it hurts, closure is the best thing to aim for now. If he is willing to talk to you, then by all means let everything be known. If you only have one shot to tell him how you feel, make that shot count.
Granted, some people don't let you have that chance. In which case, write a letter to him. Whether you send it or not doesn't matter. Just spill your guts into that letter. It is much better than bottling it up. And if you think of more things, write another letter. Pretty much, in order to move past this guy, you are going to have to let go of everything that is keeping you attached to him.
After that, see how he responds. If he keeps playing games, ignore him. If he comes onto you again, reject him. If he wants to be friends, then that's up to you.
While I haven't experienced all that drama, I have had experiences of loving someone who didn't love you back. There's this girl at my college, and we are really close. And I eventually asked her out. She said no, and gave me her reasons. It hurt, but I respected her, and I loved her. So I stuck around, since I knew that me destroying the friendship would hurt her more than she deserved (if, in fact, she actually deserved to be hurt). Towards the end of the semester, I laid everything out for her. I held nothing back, and at the end, she understood why I do what I do for her, and while we will never be together, she knows I care about her, and that I love watching over her and protecting her. And she has a newfound respect for me for sticking around, even when it hurts me.
I say all this to say that being real with him and telling him everything, while it may not win him over like in the movies, it will bring closure, and you will be able to move past him.
- Anonymous8 years ago
well you should most definitely stop seeing this guy if he says he's on a date with some other chick. Sounds to me like he's not looking for anything serious at the moment and probably just wants to be **** buddies.