Regarding gender and comedy?

Can anyone give me a joke oriented to EITHER gender that doesn't involve something embarrassing, or someone making a silly mistake, or something happening to someone?

This whole idea that "women's comedy" is "kind" and "men's comedy" is "derisive" bothers me.

Isn't ALL humor based on the pratfall and the accompanying jeers?

IS there any such thing as "nice" humor, male OR female? Can you give me an example?

Update:

Kinda cute and chuckle-worthy, Twin, but still -- intimations of philandering and paternity fraud, poor married couple having sex only five times a year, add in wordplay with red hair/rusty... see what I mean? BASED on the negative.

Even the sweetest jokes ALWAYS involve something negative. Ask any twenty-year old whose mother photographed them in the bathtub as a toddler.

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    Women's comedy is "kind?" Have you ever listened to Lisa Lampenelli?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Hj27VV3dp8

    Youtube thumbnail

    There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it.

    The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."

    The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."

    The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."

    The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.

  • 8 years ago

    A guy is approached by a lady of the evening in a bar. She says 'I have a game for you..I will do anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words'.

    Guy thinks "..why not", sets $300 on the bar and says

    "..paint my house".

    I've dated a couple/few comedians/comedy writers that maintained a non-hostile, non-vicious style. At times, one/all were urged to be a little less sanitized and more gutter. That was quickly dismissed as not possible, as it wasn't who they were.

    Since I am really not an aficionado or fan of the typical "joke" (as in: a plumber, a priest, a giraffe, all walk into a bar..)..-kind of humor, I'm not one to reel off a joke in that manner (or remember one that I've heard). The comedy style and ones sense of humor is interesting and noteworthy (to me personally) when it encompasses their take on the world at large. Without being mean-spirited, the ability to assess all that surrounds him/her and offer their take on it is the best. If one has a broad knowledge, is interested in others and every other little (and big) thing he/she sees = funny to me.

    The greatest comedians = kings & queens of comedy, who've been asked what their all-time, favorite punchline was..have all replied with similar answers such as "..what"..? iow; the funniest moment in their own careers, or that they witnessed was when one was funny without having to tell a joke. Simply answering "what"..? or "oh", was the funniest/most memorable moment.

    Eddie Murphy's Delirious and Raw stand-up videos are extremely funny..he's really talented..although teeters close to the raunchier side..still funny. Some comics take that and gutter it up to offensive levels = not even close to funny for me. Bill Cosby was/is hilarious. The original Kings of Comedy was awesomely funny.

    I always liked Ellen DeGeneres, Paula Poundstone types. Jeff Gaffigan is funny to me. Gary Shandling, and Woody Allen are more my style. I love Joan Rivers when she isn't "on", iow; her basic, innate, sense of humor re: all things is funnier than when she's performing. I like Ruby Wax, Jennifer Saunders and of course, Dawn French..are supreme in my eyes.

    There is no comedy without pain somewhere in a comics past. Comedians are the poster children for one who has been given lemons and makes lemonade, and not only do they manage to make lemonade but they squirt it into any available eye. Most are funniest when not telling a joke..just being themselves. I suppose the same can be said for most comics and performers.

    The more intelligent one is (male or female) = the funnier they are. The two are synonymous. I have personally never met a clueless or stupid comic. There may be comics who pretend to be..but that's another kettle of fish.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    A lot of men's comedy is crude and pushes the boundaries but it often isn't mean spirited. It is the way the way the comic says / delivers / sells the joke. Women on the other hand, vengeful / nasty sh$t designed to emotionally cripple someone. That playful banter a man brings to the table is often missing from a womans act.

  • 8 years ago

    well, how wrong can you ever go with Jesus jokes?

    So, the crowd dragged the adultress to the public square.....and started shouting "Stone her!!!! Stone her!!! As they started to pick up their rocks.....someone noticed Jesus sitting on the ground, doodling in the sand. Hey, let's ask Jesus what we should do!!!! Master, master! , the crowd beseeched, ...we have caught this woman being having an adulteress affair! What should we do??

    Jesus acted as if he didn't hear them and kept on doodling.

    Somewhat impatiently, the crowd asked again........Rabbi, this woman has cheated on her husband!!!! What should we do with her.???

    Again, nothing.....and Jesus seemed intent on his doodling.

    Exasperated, the crowd begged one last time......Master! This woman MUST be punished! What say you?

    and with that..........Jesus finally looked up from his doodling, and calmly said......

    "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.".....and went right back to his doodling, totally indifferent to this poor woman's plight.

    Well, the crowd just stood there........and gave his words a good long think.......and one by one, sure enough, they all begin to drop their rocks and start to walk away.

    Just then, this little old woman pushes her way from the back of the crowd, casts around for the biggest stone she can find, picks it up over her head, and HEAVES it with all her might.....hitting the adultress square between the eyes, killing the poor woman instantly.

    Jesus sees this, and JUMPS UP, and FURIOUSLY runs over to the woman and says......

    "Ya know Ma, sometimes you REALLY piss me off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    Source(s): Mary, being without sin and all, ya see. My mother had this poster of a laughing Jesus in the house and that was her favorite joke. I always liked the image of Jesus having a good chuckle.
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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    “Doctor, doctor, I’m so worried,” said the anxious man.

    “Both my wife and I have black hair, but our son’s just been

    born with red hair. Do you think something funny has been

    going on?”

    “Not necessarily,” replied the doctor. “How many times do

    you have sex?”

    “About 5 times a year.”

    “Well, there’s your answer then, you’re just a little rusty.”

    edit- oh, i agree whole heartedly. it was the only one even close to funny and not offensive.

    this one is far better.

    “Mummy, mummy, what’s a p*ssy?” asked the small boy. His mother went to the encyclopaedia and showed him a picture of a cat.

    “That’s a p*ssy,” she said.

    “Mummy, mummy, what’s a b|tch?” continued the little boy.

    Again, mother consulted the encyclopaedia and showed her son a picture of a dog.

    But the boy wasn’t convinced so he went to his father and asked him what a pussy was. Dad went to his magazine, opened it at the centrefold and drew a circle.

    “There you are, son,” he said, “that’s a p*ssy.”

    Then the little boy asked him what a b|tch was and dad

    replied sadly, “Everything outside the circle, son.”

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Here's a joke that no woman in history has found funny... Guys on the other hand think its pretty damn funny.

    Two rednecks, Bubba and Zeik were sitting on their front porch bored out of their minds.

    Bubba said "Hey, let's play a game y'all, I think of a thang and y'all ask me questions to guess what it be, OK?"

    Zeik replied with "OK".

    Bubba "Go!"

    Zeik "Can you eat it?"

    Bubba "Yeap"

    Zeik "Is it a donkey d!ck?"

    Bubba "Yeap!".

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    A burglar breaks into a house & is walking around in the dark.

    Then hears, "Jesus is watching you."

    Looks around & sees nothing.

    Then hears, "Jesus is watching you." again.

    Looks around & sees a parrot, goes over & asks the parrot, "What's your name?"

    The parrot says "Moses".

    The burglar laughs and then asks, "What person would name their parrot Moses?"

    The parrot replies, "The same person that would name their Rottweiler Jesus."

  • "Kind comedy"?!?! Never heard of such a thing. However, there is the comedy which is about laughing at oneself. And there is comedy which is about laughing at others.

    Source(s): If you can't laugh at yourself. Then make fun of other people.
  • DK
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    Who the hell says women's comedy is kind? I don't think they've ever listened to a woman comic.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    A woman answers the phone to a pervert, who says, "I want to see your tight hairy tw@t" And the women says, "You'll have to call back as he's asleep on the sofa right now".

    Source(s): If I'm not mistaken it went something like this......
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