Because it gets better. It does. You have to believe me, it does. I've been suicidal for 8 years, and I know what you're going through, and I have hope that it'll all be ok, because it's not your time, its not the end. The people around you really do love you, they want to keep you around. Reach out to someone, anyone you trust, they will help you. Reaching out helped me a lot!! And maybe seek professional help. I just started seeing a therapist and I hope it works, or at least helps. You need to get this dealt with, you cant live like this. Life has to be enjoyed, and you're going to stick around to see what tomorrow brings, cause it's gonna be awesome =) Good luck!