I need something really funny to say for my quote or status on facbook?

What's some funny things I can put as my status and something funny I can put on my wall only in words not in photos for Facebook ??

2 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Life is good. Comfortable life is even better.

    ~ from Russian movie “Prisoner of Caucasus.”

    Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

    ~ Elbert Hubbard.

    Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

    ~ Soren Kierkegaard.

    You fall out of your mother’s womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.

    ~ Quentin Crisp.

    Get more such funny Facebook quotes from http://allfamousquotes.weebly.com/funny-facebook-q...

  • 9 years ago

    See that critic? He used to hate every movie. Then he married a young, big-bosomed woman, and now he loves every movie.

    Woody Allen

    Imagination is intelligence with an erection.

    Victor Hugo

    Some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

    The Office, 2005

    If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.

    Chris Rock

    His mouth had the coldly forbidding look of the closed door of a subway express when you have just missed the train.

    P. G. Wodehouse

    I once dated a guy who was so dumb he couldn't count to twenty-one unless he was naked.

    Joan Rivers

    I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

    W. C. Fields

    It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.

    Robert Orben

    If you're given a choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal.

    Katharine Hepburn

    I like a thin book because it will steady a table; a leather volume because it will strop a razor; and a heavy book because it can be thrown at a cat.

    Mark Twain

    I went out on a first date, but I don't think I'll be seeing her again. She got mad when I didn't open the car door. I just swam to the surface.

    Emo Philips

    Bush says he's being stalked. He says wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally someone told him, "Psst. That's the Secret Service."

    Jay Leno

    Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

    Homer Simpson

    Victoria Beckham speaks two languages - English and Gucci.

    Nicola Zweig

    It's so cold I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

    Bob Hope

    What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

    Rodney Dangerfield

    If you remember the 1960s, you weren't there.

    George Harrison

    Don't tell my mother I work in an advertising agency. She thinks I play the piano in a whorehouse.

    Jacques Seguela

  • casey
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    ''Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity'...

    Source(s): The late great Geo. Carlin
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