What can I do about insensitive boyfriend? I'm 11 weeks pregnant?
My boyfriend and I have been together a little over two years. I'm 26 he's 32 I have no kids, he has two a daughter who's 10 and his son who's 13 but not biologically his. I am a full-time student my major accounting I also worked a part-time job. I'm out of school for the summer and was planning to join the Navy, he was working around 60 hrs a week in a factory. Well a few months ago I took on a full-time job at a gas station to help out with bills because he decided to go to another shift with less hours due to wanting to start a business and wanting to spend more time with his children and me. We've always were on the go going out etc but after I got off the pill due to complications we fought alot cause I wasn't in the mood for sex we always used a protection method untill one day in march when it was the end of my period and we had unprotected sex fast forward no period april in may found out I was pregnant. I don't want to rush and get married cause I feel he's not ready and I'm not either. I decided to give up the military and keep the baby he seemed excited at first he told everyone but then he started to complain that I sleep to much, I don't want to go to the bar with him, he can't smoke around me, I don't cook and clean like I use to, I'm always sick etc. I'm happy about the baby but frustrated with being sick, in pain etc. Then his ex wife who's always been a drama queen is playing this our kids and I will always come first game every since she found out, she's become more needy, the kids have gotten more out of control, he decided he wanted to move his son in the basement which their back and forth with, she likes to insult me to my boyfriend behind my back. Then today I was having horrible pains I was in tears and he grabbed me by the arm and almost pushed me out the door saying I needed to go to work. I didn't go which will probably lead to the termination of my job, he wasn't caring or anything, he instantly got mad didn't try to get me to a hospital but went to work early and didn't bother to call to see if I was ok. My friends say I should leave him, my mom says I can always come stay with her and figure things out. I'm torn I'm now pregnant and out of a job with no plan and it scares me my boyfriend who I stood by through tons of stupid decisions such as quitting his job when we were on the verge of eviction to take his kids to and from school to help his ex wife out who claimed she and her husband couldn't do it. He tells me this is unacceptable I need to work till I have the baby cause it's not fair for him to carry everything alone. This is coming from the same person who I've given up on things I wanted helping out.
- Anonymous9 years ago
First off, sorry that youre having such a rough time. I know how you feel, Im 21 and my ex (babys daddy) is 28, i have no kids and he was a 5 year old and and 8 year old, the 8 year old is by the mother of his son and is not biologically his but lives with him and calls him dad, so might as well be. When i found out i was pregnant (we had been extremely careful, condoms and bc so idk what happened haha) he was also excited at first, but as time went on and i couldnt party with him anymore and was tired alot and sick, he did pretty much what your bf is doing, and at first i guess he kept it all inside because tho i definitely noticed him pulling away and getting distant and moody i still hoped we could work things out for the baby. Well long story short, one day he came home after being gone all night drinking and informed he hed already cheated on my 3x , didnt care about the baby, and was kicking me out. He also started threatening all my friends and family. When i tried to figure out where all this was coming from, he started saying things like you dont go out to bars with me (well being the pregnant sober girl watching him and his friends act like jerks is not my idea of a fun evening haha) and u dont pay enough of the bills, etc etc.
So, the point of my mini-rant haha was to say that if youre already having this many problems with him, it will probably only get worse, i mean pregnancy is tough, and men just dont understand that. While its true that some may be sympathetic and helpful most arent. Id take your mom up on her offer and stay with her awhile. Im not saying you should give up on him, but maybe some space will do you guys good. Maybe he will come to his senses haha my ex never did and will probably never meet his daughter, but my best friends bd did eventually come around is now a great father, so it can happen! haha.. anyway, I hope things work out for you :) good luck with everything
- Proud MommyLv 49 years ago
Because you are pregnant I would recommend some form of counseling to try and help things out. But him being so aggressive with you and shoving you out the door is not acceptable pregnant or not. There comes a line of respect with any relationship and insensitivity does not belong there. Being physical is a form of abuse and you should not stand for it, more so now that you are pregnant. As for all these pains I would consult your doctor but it is a possibility you are experiencing round ligament pains they are painful and last quite awhile if not the entire pregnancy. Counseling can help if both parties are willing it can help both sides be more open. But you are right to think you are not ready to be married, with this kind of confrontation this is no place for marriage let alone bringing a child into it. Things must be dealt with first, and if counseling is not an option you can try to talk it amongst yourselves but it is much harder without an impartial party to give you the true meaning and guidance because one person will always assume they are right. So that is my recommendation but if things cant be talked about than its best you part your ways now, for the child's sake.Source(s): 35 weeks with baby # 2
- Anonymous4 years ago
adult men are not continuously the most comfortable, lol. perhaps he idea it can make you chuffed. perhaps it become his way of telling you he might want to nonetheless want you afterwards, and merely needs you to be decrease back to commonly used? Who is known with. don't be too complicated on him.
- 9 years ago
Leave him gurl u can do better by urself