Welcome to Baby Dragon. Will you please read my poem about him?

_____________________________________________________________________________ True story that happened the other day with some adornment. Please, your comments and constructive critique are always welcome, even if negative, good and bad promote me to learn. The glossary again is not meant to offend. There is... show more ________________________________________...

True story that happened the other day with some adornment. Please, your comments and constructive critique are always welcome, even if negative, good and bad promote me to learn. The glossary again is not meant to offend. There is a reason for it. Thanks, Thomas
______________________________________...

Baby Dragon

In Office this morning & in deep thought
JBLU or DAL stock swing trade I sought
Suddenly from outside I hear a scream
Was not a nightmare from a bad dream

Daughter out with friends mind popped
Gorgonize my body because it stopped
Holus-Bolus I arise from my chair
Get to the entry concluded my prayer

No longer restive and at the front door
Hear multiple yelps made ready for war
Open it up! In runs a frantic Alien
On foot up my leg this is no mammalian

Baby Dragon scorched hair off my shin
Weapons at my side as I scour within
Cats! Here they come, forgot about them
Cornered the Dragon now do I condemn?

Out dragon jumps is this detestable?
As I tell Mia and Milo he’s comestible
Mia tackles prehistoric absconds with flesh
Now Dragon flops away like a wounded mesh

Tell the Kitty’s to back off and let him live
Baby Dragon breathes fire it asks to forgive
______________________________________...

Epilogue

Last time it was a spider, this time an 8 inch
long lizard, whose lives were spared,. I have
taken Pro-Life to new horizons.
______________________________________...

Glossary

JBLU = A stock symbol for Jet Blue Airlines
DAL = A stock symbol for Delta Airlines
Mia Marie & Milo = our cats

gorgonize: verb: have a paralyzing or mesmerizing effect on: stupefy, petrify
Holus-Bolus = adverb: all at once
restive = adjective: marked by impatience of uneasiness: fidgety
Mammalian = adjective: of or relating to the class of Mammalian
scour: verb: to move quickly, especially in search
comestible: adjective: edible
absconds: verb: to run away with, usually taking something or someone
*mesh: verb: entangle or catch in (or as if in) a mesh
______________________

*It may have been obvious I meant for this to mean mess (a wounded mess)
but the definition of mesh was manifold, and the above definition fit the
rhyme knit.

______________________________________...
Update: Great responses so far. Am so thankful. Will try to be terse: Seraphim: thanks for your answer. Very sweet. :) Lapiz: So happy to see you posting on my poem. You are most welcome anytime, and your critique is impressive. My best always to you and yours, Bri Delta: Thank you. Bravo, what an ensemble of... show more Great responses so far. Am so thankful. Will try to be terse:

Seraphim: thanks for your answer. Very sweet. :)

Lapiz: So happy to see you posting on my poem. You are most welcome anytime, and your critique is impressive. My best always to you and yours, Bri

Delta: Thank you. Bravo, what an ensemble of c.c. I could not ask for more. As you may know I sent you a private email via yahoo that opened the door to to a total re-write incorporating Zeus.

Luiza: my sweet friend, you showing up builds me up to fight that big Dragon. Thanks, Bri

neonman: you of all have helped me the most. Is one year in July, and I have worked tirelessly on numerous facets of poetry per your instructions. It still is not spot on like yours and some others but I press on. You might recall I started out writing prose. I was impressed with many, including Giorgio's style of writing, and tried a more disciplined lyrical approach, but as a more gifted storyteller you are right, and your e
Update 2: example of that one sentence I tried to squeeze it in to fit meter and missed the boat on its meaning. I sacrificed content for construct and it does not work, and I do not have the talent (yet, maybe never) to pull it off. Problem is, I love and feel more comfortable with a lyrical format than prose. However, I... show more example of that one sentence I tried to squeeze it in to fit meter and missed the boat on its meaning. I sacrificed content for construct and it does not work, and I do not have the talent (yet, maybe never) to pull it off. Problem is, I love and feel more comfortable with a lyrical format than prose. However, I think variety is the spice of life for a poet, and the next Sir Thomas installment is going to be in prose. Thank you so much for your time and tutelage. Bri.
______________________________________…

Addendum on Glossary

gorgonize: I happen to have a lot of respect of the Greek culture. It started in high school reading about Greek history and mythology, and this word is a Greek term, and adjective derived from 'gorgos' meaning 'terrifying.' Involves he 3 winged monster that included Medusa. Anyway---today if means to make a person feel petrified (metaphorically) by looking at them with an intimidating glance or gaze. I also fell in love with a Greek in college
Update 3: ________________________________________________________________________________ MAMA GEE O: Right on with DAL. The chart is impressive, and had I not been decimated on AMR last year I would go long and swing trade this. As it is not just taking profits as much as possible. The spread, sometimes daily, is... show more ________________________________________...

MAMA GEE O: Right on with DAL. The chart is impressive, and had I not been decimated on AMR last year I would go long and swing trade this. As it is not just taking profits as much as possible. The spread, sometimes daily, is ridiculous, and if you just stick with reading the chart, it's a nice money maker. Did you read the rest of the poem? lol
_______________________________________...
Update 4: Na’ashjéii Asdzáá: Nancy----I had absolutely no idea that I, in past c/c of yours, have been surly or rude. None, and I wish you would have communicated this to me. The Pride in my wants to ask you to cite and example, because I have thought of myself of being nothing less than kind to you in my responses and... show more Na’ashjéii Asdzáá: Nancy----I had absolutely no idea that I, in past c/c of yours, have been surly or rude. None, and I wish you would have communicated this to me. The Pride in my wants to ask you to cite and example, because I have thought of myself of being nothing less than kind to you in my responses and even uplifting when I respond to most of your poetry. So I am going to bury that if you wish, and simply say I am sorry, and take what you say with the utmost respect and seriousness. However, isn't some of poetry almost like two expert reports in a trial----plaintiff vs defendant. Both experts have perfectly plausible arguments, but the truth is, in most cases, one is wrong, even possibly lying for their client. What I am saying her Nancy is I will have a learned poet tell me of my flaws, but also encourage me and say for the most part my poem was good. Not always, but when that happens, I have to do the best I can and take all the c/c in. The rest of this I think,
Update 5: and would like, to handle in private, if possible, cause I think we can work on making our discourse more respectable towards each other. Thanks
_______________________________________...
Update 6: Na’ashjéii Asdzáá: One thing I forgot too Nancy. I am a middle aged man and father, and busy with plenty other projects. Except for some in grade school, never wrote poetry before, and has not even been one year. Go back and look at my first poems. I am trying to get better, I really am. You do not have to read my... show more Na’ashjéii Asdzáá: One thing I forgot too Nancy. I am a middle aged man and father, and busy with plenty other projects. Except for some in grade school, never wrote poetry before, and has not even been one year. Go back and look at my first poems. I am trying to get better, I really am. You do not have to read my poems, even if I read yours---this is not tit for tat. I am starting to like yours a lot better for some reason, they are just better. This is not meant to be rude to you or anyone else, but poetry for me is not easy, but I love it. So, it may take years for me to improve, but it is not so easy to just listen to what you say and make it work. I promise you I am trying as hard as I can with the time I have, and I have nothing but gratitude for you caring enough to post here, but will not be upset should you choose otherwise. Thank you so much, Bri
______________________________________…
18 answers 18