Do i have any type of Mental Disorder such as ASPD?
To cut this short. I HATE my dad. He was Badly abused as a child and as i recently found out threw my aunt. He use to hit my mom and other things in the past (they are still together) but over the years i couldn't help see that he was a ******* parasite. He is ALWAYS complaining when he gets home from work. he is self-centered and also complains that my mom is Narcissistic because she takes photos of herself for Facebook. He stays home all the time and practically lives in his room like a Man Cave. Im pretty sure he has some type of disorder due to his past but he will not go to the doctor to be checked. He use to whip me when i was younger. but back to myself.
-I manipulate people at my school to get what i want from people. such as other people's relationships. Ex. if i was talking to a girl about her boyfriend problems i could switch her thought towards him so i could be able to Make Out with her. Ex 2. when in a tough position with grades or a test. i can convince my teacher to Curve my grade or let me Retake the test when she isn't suppose to. Ex 3. My friend takes pain pills for his Scoliosis and i just tell him a bunch of bullshit to get him to give them to me. i dont care that he needs them.
As a child i was a little demon. my grandmother gave me the nickname "Bam Bam" because i destroyed everything i could get my hands on. i use to melt toy soldiers with fire and smash hotwheel cars with a hammer.
Also when i was around 10 i bite my sister (can't remember why) and around the age of 15 (im turing 18 in december) i got in a fight with my older brother (i ALWAYS fight with him, Most of the time i end up hurting him physically somehow) and we were in the kitchen and he put me in a Headlock and i pulled out a knife on him without thinking(got a ear load from my parents)
im known for not being honest and i cant help it. for some reason i always lie. even if there is no reason to lie. I also steal alot from neither friends or parents/siblings example 1. I take my moms Sleeping Pills (prescription) and dont feel bad about it when she needs it. example 2. i take from my brother/sister from their room when i want what they have. I have stolen from my friends plenty of times such as Games/Money and valuable things.
I have NEVER been bullied. But at times during school when i get into heated arguments with other students i have to tell myself NOT to fight or hurt him. Because i do not want to get sent to Alternative School or ISS (i hate being in a room for a long time) Its not because im afraid. its because im afraid of what people around me will see (friends, teachers etc.) the inner me and disrupt the current relationships. I have to hold myself back from totally destroying and making them watch feel hopless.
something about Another person have POWER of someone else witch makes me feel so disturbed.
It could be ANYTHING from a boyfriend hitting a girlfriend or a dog owner hitting his dog. ANYTHING that can be taken from somebody having more power or "Owning" another person makes me want to viciously make a point to him/her that I will personally END it. Ex 1. A dog owner hitting his dog, i would love to nail his joints to a table and slowly cut off both hands and feet. So i can feel the satisfaction of me OVERPOWERING him and making him realize he isn't ****.
i often get what i want from people and when i don't i feel so pissed off.
I do, do bad things in ways its illegal. such as steal from stores. Pirate things off the Internet. Drugs.
As i said before at the top. I would love to kill my father(i will not). he makes a everyday life have problems which it shouldn't. I sometimes think of what i would do to the body after i have kill him and where to put it or hide it. :/ i don't see a big deal eliminating him to benefit our family
but at times i find myself thinking what would happen if my parents died. In a car crash or something. I often find myself of wanting the Life Insurance Money that comes behind it.
I also find myself doing things that will ONLY benefit me. If my parents tell me to do something or get something done. i usually blow it off because i get nothing from it. i get my mom to give me 20-50$ to do things around the house(like cut the lawn).
and the last part. i don't really care for my safety. I love burning things and do dangerous things like
Ex 1. test knife sharpness on my skin (i dont cut myself. im not emo)
Ex 2. test my limit with drugs (mostly pills)
Ex 3. Mess around with fireworks by either throwing them or blowing things up
by the way im not going out doing these things everyday like some kind of freak o_o
more details that i need to add is that i use my parents and brother/sister to do what i want to do. such as take me places when they need to be somewhere and use there situations as a advantage. Its simple really. i dont care for my father nor do i want to be like him because i CANT. not that i dont "want" to or "Fear" to become like him. My mental state is designed not be be like him.
And another thing. my mom usually gives me her credit card for when i go out. and she says not to buy things like games,cloths and things i want in general but i do without feeling bad about it. she will just tell me how she wont give me her card again and i will get it again a week later. I And to the first answer. i dont believe i think is "COOL" to do drugs. I don't go around school telling people i do drugs and brag. i keep it a secret. i just like the feeling i get from pills, alcohol etc.
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
F*ck, dude...like you just nearly wrote my biography! I have done most of the sh*t you've done or fantasized about it. I went to NA meetings, that helped me a lot with the drug sh*t. I was in counseling too, but that sh*t costs money. I took drugs prescribed by a psychiatrist, but those drugs messed with my head and didn't help. If you can find humor in sh*t, like find healthy things that make you laugh, that's good. Just remember, the whole f*cking world is disordered in one way or another, so you're definitely not alone. The best thing that happened to me is when I moved away from home. The best thing you can do for yourself, is spend as much time away from home as possible, until you can get your own place.
Hope this helps, dude. I wish you the best, man.
PEACE ☮Source(s): www.na.org/, www.aa.org/
- flakesLv 44 years ago
I have extreme despair. Thanks for announcing I have a intellectual ailment. You're fortunate he instructed you in any respect, however I bet you could have work out somthing was once fallacious finally. Oh, I have moderate ocd too, I consider the urge to maintain somethings a precise approach. It's plenty bigger now although, my counsoler stated it's going to slowly depart if I simply forget about it, and do not pay concentration to it. I even have adhd however am rather illiberal to the drugs part results, so I do not take them. I have generalized anxiousness ailment, I am worried plenty for very little purpose. And I could also be bipolar, that is simply what I suppose although, my medical professionals suppose I'm no longer. But or else I AM a horny typical dude. If I did not inform any person the ones matters, they would not recognise.
- 9 years ago
I think that you're someone overly-curious and that you are traumatized by your father's behavior. You are afraid that you might become like him in the future. And you might. You should be ashamed of all of this. The drugs, and illegal stuff, etc., but you're not. You're not because you think it's cool. Deep down you think it's cool. Are you sure that's true?
You're not mentally ill, though. I don't really believe that. I believe you are tormented by what your father is. But you shouldn't think of your father. Think about your mom. Think about a girl that could one day be your wife. Do you want to be the guy that beats her up or the guy that loves her unconditionally?
Do you think that YOU would be any different than your father if you actually killed him? Even if it was in the name of your family.
You decide what person you can become. It's really up to you.
- 9 years ago
I am no professional but I believe the behaviors you are experiencing is something that requires attention by a medical professional. Getting help can make you feel crazy or stupid but you're not! I know from personal experience that it's hard to go and get help but getting professional help to deal with these emotions and behaviors might be just what you need. It's worth a shot at least.