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Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 9 years ago

How to stand up for yourself with manipulative, narrow minded people?

I was once close with someone who I later discovered (in the worse way possible) that we wouldn't be close friends. Lesson learned and from there, I maintained distance at an arm's length but remained friendly and was cautious not to get too close. Since I've known her (21), she's been pushing us friends (3 of us who were the same age - she's 5 years older). I understand that when you find love are married and have kids, you would want your friends to have that happiness... what you have but as I've come to find out, I feel like she's been doing it for her own selfish motives. I noticed she doesn't really have her own friends, except for her sister in law but it's more out of duty. I know you'll be BUSY when married with kids but even her own husband still has his friends he can hang out with here and there.

To put it bluntly, since i've known her she's been trying to set me up with (literally) any one who has a pen8s.... the mcdonalds guy at the drive thru, her random co-worker (i have nothing in common with), the cashier at the store...anyone who is "nice". Are you kidding me? I've always been content being single as well and was even open minded to her shinanigans but man, it messed me up more. I told her I was fine and didn't need the help... (which is funny bc I knew more people than her). I'm sure you think it's her way of being "nice" but just wait: her own husband will ask if I actually want to get married one day. Of course, I do but I'm not ready.... I was 23 when he kept asking me. When our friend "anna" broke up with her bf of 2 years, this friend set her up with someone the next week and somehow within a YEAR, Anna gave birth to a baby and is getting married. I'm thrilled for Anna but most friends,family, and colleagues find it bizarre how that all happened in a year, especially with that friend's influence. Talk about manipulative. She also just gave birth around the same time "anna" did. I saw them at a dinner party and this friend was playing with my hair asking if I wanted kids.... Wow... scary, right? Even with another mutual friend - they've been together for years but want to take their time. She's constantly asking the "when are you getting married/it's been forever" question. I just see her as manipulative now.... I'm sure it's differences in belief. She might think that in your 20's, you get marred, have babies but for me, I want to grow and make sure I'm settled before I get serious with anyone or commit for life, and have a family. Even my own family/friends (even parents) push this on me like she does: they know how hard it is and encourage me to "take my time". How do I deal with her and continue to stick up for myself. I trust my gut and I'll know when the time is right for me...just gotta go with the flow of life too.

2 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    distance yourself and worry about your own life.

  • 9 years ago

    It's you who should decide for yourself what to do and when...None should oblige any other one to take a certain course of action. There're many people around who seem 'bossy' or 'nosy' and thus want to have their influence on their friends...I think there's something psychological with your friends...Maybe she might need some help??? But, again, be yourself and don't allow anyone to force you into doing something that you don't want to do!

    Source(s): Personal opinion!
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