My Girlfriend loves me like a best friend?
My girlfriend and I (both 25yrs old) have been together for 6 1/2 years, and when we first got together we didn't want to do anything without each other.. It was like this for years to come. After about the 4th year we had a serious break up (or sort of break up) where she was evaluating our relationship and was wondering if I was the right man for her, we didn't speak for a week, and because I wasn't sure of the outcome I was in agony. We then met up a week later for a meal, and exclaimed that we still loved each other, and we got back together.
Now at 6 1/2 years she has done the same thing. I keep talking about money and moving on in life (wanting to save for a house etc, or if not that, at least do something with our youth i.e travelling) either way it includes saving. She despises this subject, and she despises all other serious life topics (I feel like she is still a child inside) she loves partying every weekend - Her friends now seem to come before me.
The only time we get to see each other is after work in the evenings 3 - 4 times a week. (both feeling tired and worn down) Friday I go out with friends as she has work the next morning, Then on Saturday she will go out with hers friends, she is then hungover on Sunday - and then the working week begins again monday. This has been on-going for over two months.
She doesn't seem to care for me like she used to, and when asked why, we both cried for ages and she said I do love you - More like a best friend (not what I wanted to hear).... She is way more than a best friend to me, and after nearly 7 years this has totally devastated me inside. I said that if she wants to part ways I would not be able to be her best friend I would have to delete her on facebook - delete her number and generally cut her out of my life as I simply wouldn't be able to handle seeing her. The other problem is that she has made extremely good friends with all my close friends, some of them may even prefer her to myself. So this really puts a twist the whole situation.
This girl is my world, she is everything to me, she makes me happy when im sad - she cares for me when we are together, and generally a life without her is un-imaginable now.
So at the moment we have left it as it is, as she cannot make up her mind. I just don't know where I stand and its horrible.
I really want to hear yours views on this, any advise is welcome and talking/typing helps right now.
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
Okay. This sounds harsh. I feel for you. On one hand I can understand why you hesitate on letting her go, but on the other hand I think you should let her go.
It seems to me that she's fallen out of love, really. And I don't think that you two suit well; she's more focused on being free and having fun while you're more serious. You want to settle down (or something like that), but she wants to be free and have fun. Her personality might grow different, but that would probably be in a few years. Do you think you can put up with that?
So, there are two strikes. One, she doesn't love you all that much anymore, and second, you have differing desires.
I think you should talk to her about this problem and evaluate your relationship together. Then let her think about it. Make it a point what you want (to move on in life) and what you feel.
As for your friends, I'm sure there are those that will support you if you two decide to break up. And after you've gotten over the worse of the break-up (IF you do decide on one) you could go travelling. I think the sights may keep your mind off of her for a while.
OR, if you really can't bring yourself to break up with her, there's the alternative of going cold for some time. Tell her about it and you could go travelling for a while to avoid her and give her time to consider the relationship. Of course, this brings many problems as well since you might constantly be anxious and depressed over the outcome. Not to mention, if she got herself a boyfriend while you were gone I assume it would definitely break your heart.
- louisaLv 45 years ago
WOW, to begin with considering he was once "honest" with you now I (you) can be pressured to ask a relatively rough query. Have you guys being doing something whatever at all that might be viewed inappropriate. Or ask your female friend how she feels about this whole thing, cause its proper there has to be something there to certainly FALL IN LOVE... There is a diff. Between crushing on any person which you can or are not able to have and letting it go from simply falling in love, like feeling you could speak to this individual about whatever, things you've got in fashioned, time you spend collectively..... So i would ask to clarify from each ends then you will have to make a choice on wether or to not let it go and simply keep putting out, or juggle your time between your friend and girlfriend.
- 9 years ago
yea you really need to pray, thats the best answer,maybe shes not just ready to settle down but then do your best and it shall be rewarded.
- AnnLv 79 years ago
Sorry 4 yr. pain but you can't make someone love you. Sad but true. You may HAVE to get someone who loves you and only you. That means dropping this girl. It won 't be easy in the short term but in the long term it will b alright.
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- 9 years ago
I'm only 16 lol, I've been going out with my girlfriend for 11 months, so I wouldn't take my words too seriously as I'm probably too young to know what I'm talking about. But if I were you, I'd ask her what she meant when she said she loves you more like a best friend, and explain to her exactly what you just said- that you love her much more than just a best friend.
- 9 years ago