Lv 5
Amy asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 9 years ago

Cutting family out of your and your child's/children's life?

I am 19 years old and I live with my granddad Bobby and my boyfriend Joshua (20). When I was 11 years old my mum died in a car crash and my dad remarried 9 months later. I never had a good relationship with my dads wife Gemma. She would try to cut my grandparents out of my life and would tell me to call her mum. We would fight daily and she would insult my family and friends including my mum and saying she wished she had a more painful death.

Gemma and my dad have 4 children together, Joseph and John 6, Margret 5 and Agnes 4. When I was 13 I got with Joshua we were best friends before that and had grown up together. He lived 2 blocks away from my grandparents. When I was 14 my grandparents got custody of me because I developed anorexia because of Gemma. I had always gone over to my grandparents after school to cook and clean for them and do their shopping on a Saturday because they had no other children.

When I moved in with them my nan died 6 months later from Cancer. A year after that my granddad had a heart attack and was left quiet ill afterwards. I would not see or hear from my dad and Gemma at all I did not call around to see them. I graduated high school early when I was 16 years old and I got a job. Joshua moved in with us when he turned 18 but his parents, aunts and uncles and grandparents have been a great help to me and gave me a family with granddad.

I am now 5 months pregnant with a little girl, Joshua and I have decided to call her Ella Grace after my mum and nan who my boyfriend was also very fond of as they were like family to him when we were growing up. When I found out I was pregnant I ran into a friend of my dads and he told my dad and Gemma that I was pregnant. Now they want to be in mine and my daughters life and expect me to call my daughter Gemma and Amelia after her mother.

We have had a lot of problems with them since. My daughter will have my granddad as a representation of my side of the family and a huge family from my boyfriend. People that know my dad and Gemma have said to me that I should let them get involved, and that they are very excited about becoming grandparents. Dad is no longer my family and his wife has never been. So why should I let them get involved ?

3 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    do what you want honey. i think you already have the family you love and who loves you. Ella Grace is a wonderful name and i think it's lovely that you honor your late mom and grandmother by naming your first daughter after them. don't give in to your stepmum's wishes. she's just probably thinking how it would look to others if you keep your distance from them. she just probably wants to keep appearances that you're still in good terms with her. in any case, it is your child, and you and the baby's father have the sole right to give her the name of your own choosing. just continue to be a good granddaughter to your grandpa and i hope you'll always be happy with your new family.

  • bible
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    I totally understand reducing him out of your sons existence. yet his kinfolk hasn't achieved something to you. Do they even know you're pregnant along with his baby? Or is it conceivable they think of it somewhat is another adult men baby? in the event that they do no longer know, that should be why they have not achieved something. possibility is, in the journey that your ex rather needs no longer something to do along with your son, that may not replace purely because of the fact the child is around his kinfolk. supply them of project. it is not honest to them or your son to shrink them out without even giving them the prospect to tutor they're distinctive than your ex. now and returned, the apple rather does fall a ways from the tree. Your ex could be a jerk, yet his kinfolk ought to be the sweetest human beings. yet you will no longer know that until they're given the prospect to tutor you.

  • Naiara
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    After reading all that I don't think you should. Your step mother sounds like a horrible person and your dad doesn't sound too good either, and since you are over 18 you can decide who is and who isn't in your life. I would say take the meassurments that you need to take, but dont let your daughter call them grandparents, since they haven't been much parents to you.

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